The Man of a Thousand Insults
by MadnessinmyMethod
Summary: Sai's trying his best to understand and woo the ladies, namely Sakura. Meanwhile Team Kakashi carries on, that is until someone from the past returns. SakuraxSai. T for language. Chp11:When All is Said and Done. Finished.
1. How It Managed to Happen

_**The Man of a Thousand Insults**_

**By MadnessinmyMethod**

Sai was never what anyone could call an ordinary teenager. For a Konoha ninja, he was among the most bizarre even compared to Rock Lee and Gai-Sensei. Sai was, as Sakura so eloquently put it, socially awkward. And indeed, Sai had now reached the level of his self-education on human behaviors at which he was attempting to understand the complex actions of females. Thus, this strange little leaf-nin had sought out the advice of a man who considered himself the absolute guru of the secrets of the female race: Jiraiya.

Borrowing the nickname "pervy sannin" from Naruto, who used it whenever they discussed the legendary ninja, Sai sought out the pervert beginning his search in the most logical place: the hot springs. Indeed, the moment he arrived, he saw the pervert with his eyes glued to a hole in the wall, chucking madly.

"Pervy sannin!" Sai shouted.

"Naruto, I'm b—you're not Naruto," Jiraiya said. "Oh, you're that Sai kid. Well, I'm busy. Beat it."

"Pervy sannin, I need your advice," Sai said, smiling.

"Look, punk. My name is Jiraiya. Not even Naruto gets away with that anymore."

"Pervy Jiraiya, I need your advice on women," Sai continued.

"Go read my book, Icha Icha Paradise," Jiraiya said shortly. "And leave me alone. I'm studying."

"No, you're not. You're being an enormous pervert. And I already read your book. It doesn't have the information I need."

"What could you possibly not learn about women from my book?" Jiraiya demanded.

"How do you ask a girl on a date?" Sai asked.

"You impress her with your awesome manly toughness, duh," Jiraiya said. "Honestly, everyone knows that, idiot."

"Hmmm… you're a dickless pantywaist just like Naruto," Sai said, leaving the springs.

"What the HELL was that, ASSHOLE?" Jiraiya shouted after him, tacking him to the ground.

_Hmmm… why does this always happen to me?_ Sai wondered, smiling as he elbowed Jiraiya in the stomach to throw him off. He pulled his small katana out of its sheath to block the kunai that the pervert had immediately aimed at his head.

Sai ducked to the left as Jiraiya's fist came at him, again towards his face. "What's with aiming at my head, you pansy-bastard?"

"Punk-bastard, I'll kill you!" Jiraiya shouted. He stepped back, preparing the hand seals to summon a frog.

Sai took out his scroll and paint to draw some sort of fearsome beast.

They were ready to kill each other… that is until Sakura and Tsunade showed up.

"What the hell is going on here?" Tsunade bellowed furiously.

"Um…" Jiraiya said, realizing how ridiculous he looked.

"Sakura," Tsunade said, nodding towards Jiraiya and Sai.

"Yes, Tsunade-shishou," Sakura said, putting on her gloves. With extreme concentration she aimed two powerful punches at the idiotic males.

"Thank you, Sakura," Tsunade said. "That should be enough punishment for fighting in the streets and disgracing the Konoha name. Figure out why they were fighting and report to me in an hour for your medical training."

"Yes, Tsunade-shishou."

Sakura walked over to Jiraiya first. "Are you alright, Jiraiya-sama?"

"Define 'alright,'" Jiraiya muttered. "Damn Tsunade for teaching you how to throw a punch like that."

Sakura smiled thinly. "So what happened?"

"The little bugger was asking me for advice about ladies and then he called me a dickless pantywaist," Jiraiya said. "What the hell is his problem?"

"Um… yeah. He does that to pretty much everyone," Sakura said. "I wouldn't take it too seriously."

"Yeah, whatever," Jiraiya said. "I'm going back to work. And keep that punk away from me if you can."

_Nice talking with you too,_ Inner Sakura thought, watching the disgruntled pervert go back into the bathhouse. She turned her attention to Sai who was now struggling to his feet. Sakura walked over and extended a hand to help him up. "It would be a good idea not to insult Jiraiya-sama like that. He's one of the three legendary ninjas, you know. He could kill you if he wanted to."

Sai smiled at her. "Keep talking. Your voice makes me forget about how you punched me."

Sakura stared at him for a moment. "Well, that's what you get for disgracing the Konoha name and fighting in the streets." She started walking down the road with Sai, surprisingly, following after her. "I have to go to a medical training session."

"Hokage said in an hour."

"What's it to you? It's not like we have a mission."

"I like your voice," Sai said.

"Yeah…uh…what's that all about?"

"And you have an unusually large forehead."

Sakura felt like a little red bubble was forming deep inside her. Her fists clenched and shook slightly. _Cha! Is he going to make fun of my forehead? That asshole!_ screamed inner Sakura.

Before Sakura even had much time to think, Sai pulled her close and pressed his lips against hers. It was rough and gentle all at the same time, kind of like how she had imagined kissing Sasuke… Sasuke…

All of a sudden he didn't seem to matter.

Sai pulled away about an inch from her face. "What was that all about?" Sakura whispered.

Sai didn't answer. "I want to show you a painting I made. Will you come with me?"

* * *

**Right so this is my first Naruto fanfic. I hope I haven't broken any taboos I don't yet know about. Review if you have the time. I'd appreciate the feedback and I'd most likely be so happy that I'll do some sort of strange dance, videotape it, and post it on youtube for you all to enjoy. Now if only I had a video camera… to the electronics store! Ta-ta!**


	2. C is for Conspiracy

_**Chapter Two: **_C is for Conspiracy

From the few times that Sakura had actually glimpsed Sai's apartment, she had considered it to be rather plain and emotionless much like the boy himself. Yet Sai clearly had some kind of emotion broiling inside him. And as Sai led her into his abode, Sakura could see the delicate touches that gave the place personality. In most cases, it was the painting supplies strewn about in an almost organized fashion. His various works decorated the walls and it appeared as though Sai was trying to give titles to some of them.

On a small table next to the bed was the picture book Sakura had seen once before. The book about Sai and his brother.

"You wanted to show me something?" Sakura asked quietly.

"Yes," Sai said.

Sakura couldn't tell if the smile on his face was real or fake. She hoped it was real.

Sai went over to his desk and pulled out a half-finished portrait of a pink-haired woman.

"It's me," Sakura said. _Cha! Do I really look that beautiful?_ cheered Inner Sakura.

"I've drawn hundreds," Sai said, pulling out a sketchbook and flipping through pages and pages of Sakura. "You are the only thing I think about when I go to draw now."

"Sai… this is… it's so sweet," she said, smiling broadly. Now she was sure Sai's smile was real.

"You're happy?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Then… I think I must be happy too," Sai said.

Without warning, Sakura flung her arms around his neck. Sai was shocked at first and didn't seem to know what to do. Then he circled his arms around her back. _Yeah… that must be right._

"Oh, shit!" Sakura shouted. "I'm late for training!" She tore herself from his grasp. "I'll see you later, okay?"

**

* * *

**

"You're late," Tsunade said, frowning. "It's not like you."

"Sorry, Tsunade-shishou. I lost track of time," Sakura said, still breathless from running across Konoha.

"Hn." Tsunade still looked displeased. "So tell me why Jiraiya and Sai were fighting?"

"Sai insulted Jiraiya-sama," Sakura said.

"Really? Jiraiya got that angry? What did the boy say?"

Sakura blushed a little. "He called him a dickless pantywaist. Sai does that to Naruto all the time too."

"Yes, that would bruise the man's ego," Tsunade mused. "What provoked the insult?"

"Nothing. The two had been talking."

"About what?"

Sakura blushed a little more. "Sai was asking for advice on women."

"Poor, misguided boy."

"I doubt he took any of Jiraiya-sama's advice," Sakura said.

"You sound like you know," Tsunade observed.

If it was at all possible, Sakura's flush deepened. "Um… well… I guess I was the reason he was looking for advice."

Tsunade's face darkened. "I'm not going to interfere in your love life, Sakura, but I want to warn you. Sai is part of Root, unless you've forgotten. He answers to Danzou, who, if you remember, is trying to undermine my authority as Hokage. I'm not trying to make you paranoid, but bear in mind that you are my student and this may very well be a trap."

Now all the colored drained out of Sakura's face. She had not thought of this possibility. Yet it all felt so real. How could someone fake something like that?

"Sakura," Tsunade continued, watching her conflicted student, "if you have begun a relationship with this boy, you do not need to fret. After all, it could be genuine, in which case I would be very happy for you. It's time you got over Sasuke."

Sakura smiled. "Thank you."

"Now. Let's get to work."

**

* * *

**

Pale pink coated the end of Sai's paintbrush. Pink. Pink. Pink. All he could see was pink. Think pink. He had absolutely no qualms with the color either. Sweet, dainty pink. _Though the color betrays such a fierce interior_, Sai thought, recalling Sakura's astounding strength. Strength he had been at the receiving end of on several occasions.

Sai's thoughts were interrupted by a very loud and obnoxious knock at his door… well, it was more of an attempt to bust down the door than knock. Sai rolled his dark eyes and set his brush down in a cup of water to answer it.

It was Naruto. Big shock there. "Kakashi-sensei wants us to meet him in a half-hour. There's a new mission."

"Doesn't Sakura have medical training with the Hokage?"

"Eh? That's probably why it's in a half-hour. So Tsunade-baachan will be done," Naruto said. "Besides, Kakashi-sensei is always late."

Sai nodded.

"Well, we better get going, Sai," Naruto said pointedly.

"I have to clean up," Sai told him. "I was painting."

"I'll wait." Naruto stepped into Sai's apartment and was immediately assailed with an array of pink. All of Sai's sketches had been laid out to help with his painting.

"Kyaa! What's with the pictures of Sakura-chan? Are you some creepy stalker?" Naruto shouted.

"Sakura liked them," Sai said, smiling broadly.

Naruto's mouth gaped open.

"You're going to catch flies like that, pansy," Sai said, rinsing off his paintbrushes.

"Sakura doesn't think you're INsane?"

"I don't think so," Sai replied secretively.

"What do you mean by that?"

"You really are quite nosy," Sai said blandly. "I'm ready to go."

"What the hell is going on, bastard?"

"Why do I have to tell you everything?"

"You aren't telling me ANYthing!"

Sai rolled his eyes. "We really are going to be late if you keep interrogating me, Naruto."

**

* * *

**

"Hn… even Naruto and Sai are late today," Sakura muttered, taping her foot impatiently.

Kakashi came into view just around the corner, striding with the usual carefree attitude he held when he showed up late. "Sakura… where are the other two?"

"I have no idea," she said sadly.

"Damn… I hope they're not fighting again."

"They were just starting to get along."

"Well, we can't start this mission without them. It requires four people," Kakashi said, rubbing the back of his head in thought.

"What is the mission?"

"Word is that Akatsuki is actively recruiting in some villages not far from the border. If we can capture the recruiter, we may get some useful insight into Akatsuki's innerworkings."

"Sounds logical."

"And very do-able," Kakashi said. "Recruiters are often a main member's subordinates. Therefore they have a great amount of knowledge with far fewer skills to guard that knowledge."

"Of course," Sakura said, nodding.

"Now where are those idiots?"

"Speak of the devil," Sakura murmured.

With a great number of shouts and insults flying between the two, Naruto and Sai had arrived.

"Shut up, both of you," Kakashi said impatiently. "Since you were so late, we're leaving now. Sakura will fill you in on the details."

**

* * *

**

It was after sunset when two dark figures, one a man, the other a woman, could just be seen against the background of trees beyond a village called Kettsaya. The wind howled gently in the black evening. Even the stars up above seemed dimmer than usual.

"I want to know how the recruiting is going."

"Yeah, yeah."

"You would do well not to be so infuriatingly rude, Tetsume."

"Whatever," Tetsume replied. "I got people. Happy?"

"How many?"

"What's it to you?"

"Damn you, Tetsume," the cloaked man shouted as loudly as he dared. "I could kill—"

"But you won't," Tetsume interrupted. "I'm too valuable."

"You are lucky that your _father_ finds you valuable. If you were my daughter, you would be dead.

Tetsume smiled fiercely and flipped her long, yellow braid over her other shoulder. "Then it's a good thing for Akatsuki that we are not related."

"Get back to the village, Tetsume. And bring a better attitude tomorrow night."

"See you later, alligator," she said and winked at the cloaked man.

"Ugh."

* * *

**Hope you liked it and please to review. I never intended to add and OC, but I was doodling some random ninja girl in the margins of my notebook and thought… Hmm… she would make an irritatingly awesome villain. And poof… OC! I'm by no means an artist, so you'll probably never see a pic of her, but if I do manage to draw a decent one then maybe (most likely not... I'll see if I can get my friend to draw her). Anyway, hope you guys are liking it and by the way, I put up another Naruto oneshot (which I messed up by putting a chapter from another story in and I realized I had been an idiot this morning and lots of other things) I'd like to think it's awesome… but it was written rather quickly so it really isn't amazing. Anyway, done wasting your time. Adios. **


	3. The Mind of a Killer

**Chapter 3: **The Mind of a Killer

* * *

"So, how about it?" Tetsume asked. "Wanna join?"

"Well… I really don't know…" the man said nervously.

"Hn." Tetsume took a kunai out of the pouch that was tied to her waist. "Let me make this clear. You're joining Akatsuki."

"Are you're going to make me?" the man said, instantly becoming enraged. His eyes glowed darkly.

Tetsume's lips widened into a very sinister smile. "Yes… I am. This kunai is laced with poison. Its effects are nearly immediate. Within five minutes you will feel as though you can no longer breathe. In ten, you'll be wandering around the streets like a blind man, muttering whatever words happen to come to your lips. The secrets people spill forth are amusing. In fifteen, you will have collapsed into a coma. And if no one is around to administer an antidote, you'll die within twenty-fours." Tetsume paused to yawn and then continued. "Now, if you care to notice, there is a kunai laced with this lovely poison located directly above one of your major veins. It goes straight to your heart; you'll die even faster."

The man's eyes narrowed. "An honorable organization, huh? If this is how you get members to join—Agh!"

He fell to the floor gasping and clutching his arm where Tetsume had stabbed him. "You were boring anyway," she said. As the man rasped, struggling to get air into his lungs, Tetsume tied him up and threw him across her back. "Just so no one gives you the antidote, let's go for a swim. The river is lovely this time of year."

**

* * *

**

Tetsume was hardly nine years old when she earned her forehead protector. The other children were afraid of her. They were never outright cruel, but they hurt her in a different way. She never had any friends.

She never had a father growing up either. Tetsume's mother, Aridne, was too proud to admit her husband had left her. Whenever Tetsume tried to bring up the subject, her mother grew silent.

_**Five years ago…**_

_Legends say that mist brings both an end a beginning. For Tetsume, a kunoichi of the Hidden Village of the Mist, this was particularly true. It happened on a fog-ridden day that Aridne was struck down by a terrible sickness. Clinging to her last few moments of life, Testume's mother told her of her father. _

"_His name is Kisame," Aridne said, her yellow hair stuck to her sweat-soaked brow. "Just after he left, I realized I was pregnant with you. He was going to join an organization called 'Akatsuki' to do 'noble work.' That's what he called it." Aridne reached up to touch Tetsume's cheek. She smiled faintly. "You think your temper is bad—" she broke off briefly to cough "— wait 'til you meet your father."_

_Tetsume clutched her mother's hand. "You want me to find him?"_

"_Yes, Tetsume," her mother said. "You should… help him. But don't—" And Aridne died. _

"_Don't? Don't what?" Tetsume cried, shaking her mother vigorously. It was too late. Tetsume never found out what she shouldn't have done._

**

* * *

**

_Tetsume began her search almost immediately. She did not even stay in the village to see Aridne buried. A certain coldness that had been slowly but surely creeping around her heart now held it in a near inescapable grip. It did not take her long to find Akatsuki._

_Akatsuki seemed to find her._

_It was only two weeks into her quest that she heard the name 'Akatsuki' uttered. Her sharp sense of hearing had instantly honed in on the speaker._

_He was a mysterious character indeed. His hair was dark black matched only by the darkness of his eyes. The forehead protector on his head told her that he came from the Hidden Lead Village, Konoha. Sitting across from him, for they were in a restaurant, was a peculiar looking man with a large sword. Both men were swathed in black robes with red, swirling clouds. _

_Tetsume steeled herself and with a determined glint in her violet eyes made her way to their table. "Pardon me, but I heard you say the word 'Akatsuki,'" she said smoothly. _

"_What of it?" the dark one asked. _

"_Tch, Uchiha, be more polite," the other one said._

"_You're kidding, right?"_

"_Ignore him. What is it, girl?"_

"_I'm looking for a certain member of the organization. I only know his name: Kisame," Tetsume said. _

_The two men exchanged a curious set of looks. "What do you want with Kisame?" the called Uchiha asked. _

"_That would be between Kisame and myself," Tetsume replied, determined to maintain some form of control in this situation._

"_Then you'd best talk to me," the other man said. "I am Kisame. You look familiar. What is your name?"_

"_My name is Tetsume. And I look familiar because I look like Aridne, my mother and your wife," she said._

"_That was a long time ago," Kisame said._

"_Fourteen years, in fact. I am your daughter."_

"…"

**

* * *

**

_**Two months later…**_

"_Uncle Itachi!"_

"_I told you not to call me that, brat!"_

_Tetsume's left hand immediately glued itself to her hip. "Hn. Brat? You're still too young to be calling anyone a brat. Not 'til you have your own bouncing bundles of joy."_

"_I detest children," Uchiha Itachi said._

"_And that is why your life is boring," Tetsume concluded._

"_My life was perfectly fine until you started messing around with it, Tetsume."_

"_I think you should dye your hair. How about purple?"_

"_KISAME!"_

"_Wow, you broke fast."_

**

* * *

**

_**Four and a half years later…**_

"_Tetsume, what am I going to do with you?" Kisame asked sadly._

"_Hey, it wasn't my fault," she argued. "Sasori-san had it coming. Thinks he's so great," she added in a mutter. "He doesn't even listen to anyone except Deidara-san sometimes… honestly, that one doesn't make any sense…"_

_Kisame sighed. "That's not my point. You're driving the entire organization off the deep end."_

"_Well, they need to lighten up," Tetsume said quietly._

"_What was that?"_

"_Nothing," she lied. Kisame's voice had acquired a certain edge to it. There would be no more point to arguing with him. It was over. She watched him as he paced around the plain room. What he part cat as well as part shark? Her eyes followed his almost hypnotic movements. _

"_You'll be taking orders from Itachi now, Tetsume," he said at last. "At least he won't murder you. You're going to work as a recruiting agent for Akatsuki. Got it?"_

"_Yes, father."_

"_I told you not to call me that."_

"_Sorry."_

**

* * *

**

"Naruto, if you do not shut that oversized mouth of yours," Sakura threatened, "I will shut it for you."

"Doesn't it even bother you, Sakura-chan," the energetic shinobi insisted, "that he is some kind of creepy stalker?"

"For the last time, Naruto, Sai is _not _a creepy stalker. Damn it, he's right there! Must you be so blatantly rude?"

Naruto ignored the last bit. "Sakura-chan, he had _thousands_ of pictures, all of you. How is that _not _creepy?"

"It's none of your business, Naruto. One more word and I swear I'll hit you!"

"But—"

WHAM

_Aw, damn. I should have seen that coming,_ Naruto thought.

"That was very amusing," Sai said, finally choosing to speak.

"Yeah, thanks for all the help," she said sarcastically.

"… I didn't help," Sai said, utterly confused.

"I know… it's… haven't you ever heard of sarcasm?" Sakura asked.

"What's sarcasm?"

"Well, it's sort of like your fake smiles. You say one thing but you really mean something else."

"So, it's lying?" Sai asked.

"No, not quite. You say something that's obviously not true. Like I said 'thanks for all the help' when it was obvious that you weren't helping at all."

"So, what's the point?"

"Well, saying something sarcastically can be a less demanding way of pointing out that you would have liked someone to do something for you," Sakura said.

"So, by thanking me for help I did not give, you were saying that you would have liked my help earlier?"

"Yes."

"But wouldn't it have been easier just to tell me that?"

"Ugh," Sakura muttered.

"Is that sarcasm too?"

"No. I'm frustrated."

"You should try beating the shit out of Naruto. I read in a book that physical activity is great for releasing frustration."

"Hey!" Naruto shouted, for he had finally managed to get up from where Sakura had knocked him to the ground.

Lucky for him, a fourth party intervened. Kakashi had returned from scouting the surrounding area. "Are you three fighting again?" he asked, remotely annoyed.

"No," Sakura and Naruto said quickly, grinning for ear to ear.

_Wow, they look happy,_ Sai thought.

"Hn," Kakashi muttered, clearly not believing them. "Well, the forest is clear out here. We can make a camp for the night."

Sakura and Naruto groaned.

"You're lucky there isn't a war going on," Kakashi lectured. "You'd have to do this more often. Anyway, it won't kill you."

**

* * *

**

"Your daughter is making my life miserable," Itachi told his partner for what seemed like the millionth time.

Kisame set down his cup of sake. "I can barely control the child. What am I supposed to do?"

"She's hardly a child. Nineteen. Let me kill her already."

"We've been over this before," Kisame said. "Despite her obvious shortcoming in common decency, Tetsume is a powerful asset."

"Personality seems to matter very little in Akatsuki anymore," Itachi said darkly. "We will be overrun by fools."

"She's not a fool, just annoying. She did graduate the Mist Academy at nine."

"Don't turn into a proud parent on me," Itachi replied.

Kisame snorted. "Never. I merely ask you to put up with her because despite her highly abrasive manner, she's been quite useful."

"Please tell me you're not sentimental either."

"Of what?"

"Your former spouse."

"One of my life's mistakes. She did not understand Akatsuki. She tried to keep me from going. Honestly, it's shocking that she sent Tetsume after me when she died."

"Women are strange…"

"… Have some sake."

"You know I don't drink," Itachi said.

**

* * *

**

**I apologize for that being mostly filler, but it was very necessary filler. Next chapter will have awesome kickass fighting… or something like that. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. If you're not up to date in the manga please ignore the next bit in the parentheses. (okay, so it appears that the evil little Sasuke is going to take out Itachi… for the sake of this story, Itachi lives. Besides… he's way too badass… he'll probably at least escape. But if Sasuke kills him… I think I'll have to kill Sasuke… mostly because Sasuke annoys me terribly). That said, have a pleasant evening or whatever time of day it happens to be for you. **


	4. Midriff

_**Chapter 4: **_Midriff

The next day dawned clear and bright for Team Kakashi. It was cold despite the sun's warm beams and the wind whistled through the leaves in the forest canopy. Even in these irritating conditions, the four Leaf-nin plunged onward. It was nothing really. Except it did cause Sakura to gaze critically at Sai's bared midriff. And when he asked her what she was staring at, she looked away and muttered, "nothing." At least for the time being anyway.

They reached a village called Kysetta in only a few hours. This was where their mission was to take place. This was supposedly the village where Akatsuki was recruiting. This was the village where they would be capturing an Akatsuki subordinate… if they were lucky.

"We're going to split up," Kakashi told them. "Teams of two. Sakura, you go with Sai. Naruto, you come with me. We are gathering information. Gathering only. I don't want any confrontation yet if we can avoid it. Got that?" He aimed his hard gaze on each of them in turn as they nodded in understanding. "Now we're trying to get a location on the recruiter. Meet back here in three hours."

"Roger," Sakura replied and the group broke off in two different directions.

**

* * *

**

Kysetta was a village that received a great deal of traffic from the fishing industry. It was landlocked, but it happened to be on one of the major over-land shipping routes. After several decades, the village had developed a large fish market, which in turn developed a large cat population. If Naruto didn't know any better, he would say that the cats were all glaring at Kakashi. But why would they do that?

"We don't want to spook the recruiter," Kakashi said in an undertone, "so keep a low profile, Naruto."

"Yes, sir!"

"Which means no shouting or ninjutsu," Kakashi added in a pained voice.

"Oh. Sorry."

Kakashi shook his head ever so slightly. "Just keep your ears open, Naruto."

Naruto nodded allowing himself to become immersed in sound as he followed Kakashi down the street.

"—and then she said 'no' and I was like 'ah-huh' and she was like—"

"—good sir, it's a bargain, truly, for this fine haddock—"

"AND STAY OUT!"

"—and stones may break my bones but—"

"TAG, YOU'RE IT!"

"—and he wasn't in this morning. I'm worried about that 'Kusuki' girl he was with last night."

"No, it wasn't 'Kusuki.' It was 'Akatsuki.'"

The first man shrugged. "The point is, Garrel's gone missing and I can't find him."

"Well, that would be the definition of missing."

"Listen, smartass—"

"Sensei," Naruto said, tugging on Kakashi's sleeve. "Over there, by that sign."

"The two overweight gentlemen?"

"Their friend had gone missing after meeting with the recruiter."

Kakashi looked at Naruto in shock. "You've got some good ears."

**

* * *

**

Itachi was curled up in the corner of a plain room. There was no furniture. There was no sunlight. He rocked back and forth in the fetal position. His thumb was shoved blatantly in his thin-lipped mouth and his hair, even in the utter darkness, was visibly a violent shade of purple.

The door creaked open and a beam of light fell on Itachi. He shivered.

"Say it," Tetsume said. Her eyes glinted like fire.

"No," Itachi replied.

She stared down at him, immune to his sharingan. A razor-sharp kunai was pressed to his throat. "Say it," she repeated.

"You are the master of all things Earth, Wind, Water, Fire, and Lightning. I am your humble, purple servant Bobo. Your will is my command. I am your personal bitch and I worship the ground you walk on. You are—"

Shattering glass jerked Tetsume out of her daydream. Another damn bar fight. It was such a good daydream too. "Give me some sake," she muttered at the bartender.

"Not for a few years," the oily man replied, turning away from her.

"Bastard," she grumbled and flipped him off behind his back.

Behind her, a group of males (for that was the most accurate term) laughed. She glared at them, but they continued with their rude and irritating antics. Sighing, she reached into the lime-colored pouch on her hip and drew out a shuriken. Barely looking at them, she threw it so that it caught and shattered a beer bottle.

"Hey!" shouted an alcohol-soaked moron.

She smiled sweetly and left the bar.

* * *

"Sai, are you cold?" Sakura asked, still unable to tear her eyes away from his bared midriff.

"No."

"But you know it's going to be winter soon, right?"

"Yes," he replied monosyllabically.

"And it's going to get colder," she continued

"Where are you going with this?" Sai asked.

Sakura seemed to struggle with something. "I think you should wear a sweater."

"A sweater?"

"Or a jacket," Sakura added quickly.

"Why?" he asked, completely perplexed.

"Because you'll get cold," Sakura said.

"So?"

Sakura groaned. "Would it be easier if I just said I don't want to look at your amazing abs, so would you please cover them up?"

"I'm confused," Sai said. "Why do I have to wear a jacket or a sweater?"

"… because I want you to."

"Well, why didn't you say so? Were you using that sarcasm thing again?"

"No. You're being an idiot. Come here so I can hit you!"

**

* * *

**

"Excuse me, sir," Kakashi said, walking up to one of the rather overweight men discussing their mysteriously vanished friend. "I'm investigating some strange disappearances in the area. Would you happen to know anything?"

The men looked at him oddly. "No, we don't know anything," the larger of the two said quickly, too quickly.

"My associate heard you discussing a friend of yours who has gone missing. You'd best tell me everything, unless you want someone else to disappear. They may not just be disappearing," Kakashi added, "they could be dead." He stared them down, hoping to strike some fear in their feeble hearts.

Their eyes widened. "Garrel," the relatively smaller (but still quite large) one said hoarsely. "He disappeared last night. He was with some strange girl. She part of some weird group, 'Kusuki'—"

"'Akatsuki,' you idiot," his friend muttered.

"'Akatsuki,' that's what I meant."

"What does this girl look like?" Kakashi asked.

"She's tall. Yellow hair in a braid. Wears a lot of green and a forehead protector like yours. Only it's not the same symbol. She's foreign."

"Thank you. And don't talk about this to anyone," Kakashi said.

"What are you going to do?" one of them shouted after him.

"Find out what happened to your friend, among other things," Kakashi said vaguely. He headed off down the street and turned a corner where Naruto was waiting.

Clearly, he was tired of waiting. "Well?"

"We've got a description," Kakashi described the recruiter. "See if you can spot her so we can get a location."

"What about Sai and Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked pointedly.

"There are two hours left until they're supposed to meet us. If we happen to meet them, we'll share the information. Otherwise we carry on as is. Perhaps they'll find some interesting leads."

"And if we find her before we have to meet with Sai and Sakura-chan?"

"In that case, we'll have you make a shadow clone to continue tracking her while we meet the others. Any other annoying questions?"

"No," Naruto replied, glowering.

**

* * *

**

They had nothing two hours later. It seemed as though Naruto and Kakashi had scoured the entire village, but they saw no one who matched the recruiter's description. The only thing Sakura and Sai had managed to do in their three hours was purchase a lovely black jacket that matched the rest of Sai's attire.

Kakashi gazed at them with disappointment, but said nothing about the new item. He briefly explained to Sai and Sakura what they had come across during their three hours. "Have you seen anyone like that?"

"No."

"Damn, she's good." He gazed thoughtfully at the forested area around the village. "Hn… what if she's not here at all?"

"Uh… Kakashi-sensei… have you lost it?" Naruto asked.

"No," Kakashi said, glaring at him. "I mean she could be hiding outside of the village. Here's what we're going to do…"

**

* * *

**

Several kunai and a shuriken were embedded in a gnarled tree trunk. Tetsume worked on the metal, teasing it out of the wood. The bark looked strange with just empty gashes and gaping holes in it. She sat down, her back against the tree. This country seemed so dry to her. The leaves were falling off the trees, turned crispy by the winds… or something like that.

She didn't notice as an inky black mouse skittered through the fallen leaves. There were numerous woodland creatures and Tetsume had learned to tune them out long ago.

**

* * *

**

"I've found her," Sai said as his rodents returned to his scroll.

"Lead the way," Kakashi said. "To a location where we can safely observe," he added. "And, Naruto, wait until I say to attack."

**

* * *

**

When Itachi walked into his bathroom, he found a bottle of purple hair dye resting next to the sink. He glared at it for a moment. "I hate that girl," he muttered and walked away.

**

* * *

**

**Hey, everybody. I hope you like this story so far. I'm really excited about how many people have already put it in favorites or on alert. So for that I say thank you. Not that I'm complaining or anything, but I would like more reviews. It's nice getting them from the same people all the time, but I do like a wide range of constructive criticism. So if you do have a moment it'd be much appreciated if you reviewed. Beyond that, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and don't worry, the torture of Itachi has just begun (he's so fun to annoy). By the way... I've suffered cold fingers to get this chapter out. I really should wear gloves when I type.**


	5. Water Over the Door

_**Chapter 5: **_Water Over the Door

Tetsume shivered and rubbed her bare arms vigorously. "Damn wind," she muttered bitterly. "I really do hate this country." She had a feeling that she ought to be standing up from her sit by the tree trunk, but she was rather unwilling. The feeling persisted at the back of her mind. She foolishly ignored it.

**

* * *

**

Kakashi was positioned in a tree several meters from the recruiter. He watched her intently from his leafy camouflage. It surprised him how young she was. She could not be in her twenties yet. Age, of course, was no tell of strength. Kakashi knew this well.

He took in the gashes in the tree bark above her head. They were made by a ninja's blade. Kunai and shuriken. If she had been training, she could be tired. Would that be an advantage? Kakashi wasn't sure.

The others were getting impatient. Naruto fidgeted slightly. Their cover would not last much longer. Kakashi doubted that there was little more they could learn about their opponent without coming out into the open.

Kakashi began to quickly assemble a plan. Naruto, Sakura, and Sai changed their positions to bushes closer to the forest floor.

**

* * *

**

Two, little children stumbled into the clearing, laughing and shouting. Tetsume looked up.

"Sorry, miss," one of them said. "We didn't know anyone was out here. We were playing tag. Would you like to play?"

"I would believe you, ninja, if the locals didn't think this place was haunted," Tetsume said.

A puff of smoke engulfed the clearing and when it dissipated, a one-eyed shinobi and a pink-haired kunoichi stood where the children had.

"By order of the Hokage, you are under arrest," One-Eye said. "Will you go quietly?"

"You know," Tetsume said, "I don't think I will."

**

* * *

**

Something strange and inexplicable seemed to jolt Itachi awake from his usual uninterested manner. There was something he had to do, even if he didn't quite know what. He was too lazy to use the door. Doors were overrated compared to windows. Besides, Tetsume probably put a bucket of cold water over it again. Bitch.

**

* * *

**

"You seem like powerful ninja," the recruiter said, laughing. "Akatsuki is always looking for new members. Wanna join?"

"I don't think you know who we are," Sakura said. "I helped kill Sasori and my sensei helped kill Kakuzu."

"Awful lot of helping, Pinky. Can't do anything on your own?"

"You killed the people who didn't join," Kakashi stated.

It wasn't a question, but the recruiter smiled and answered anyway. "Not at first, no. I guess that's why you found out, One-Eye. Started killing a little too late." She drew a kunai out of her pouch. "But I'm not really one for conversation, kids. Catch!"

Sakura and Kakashi leapt out of the way as not just the kunai but half a dozen shuriken they had not even seen her take out came flying at them.

The recruiter laughed hysterically. "Is that all you can do? Run away, kiddos!"

Kakashi debated whether to let out the sharingan. He decided to wait. It was early yet. They didn't have Naruto or Sai backing them up. The recruiter leapt back, performing a rapid slurry of hand seals. "Water Release! Razor Wave!" she shouted.

A chakra-infused torrent rushed through the clearing, tearing down the bushes and branches in its path. Kakashi dodged the wave in time, but it struck Sakura head on, throwing her back into a tree and leaving a long but shallow cut on her abdomen. The drenched kunoichi rose to her feet soon after.

Naruto and Sai took their cue to emerge, coming into the fray in tandem with a surprise, taijutsu attack. They expected the recruiter to go flying, but she dissipated in a watery splash.

"Water clones," Naruto muttered.

"Seen them before, kiddo?" the recruiter asked as she struck him hard in the jaw.

Sai took out his small katana, but his swing was blocked as the recruiter turned quickly with a kunai in hand.

"This is hardly a fair fight, you know," she said. "Four against one. Even if I am the best Akatsuki recruiter."

Sakura had made her way over. Kakashi was following close behind, but she was quicker to the punch, literally. Sakura hit her hard in the gut, sending the woman sprawling backwards.

"Sure can pack a punch, Pinky," the recruiter muttered. "Chakra-infused fists. Who knew?" She stood back up. "But I'm done playing. And so you remember and tell all your friends just who beat the shit out of you, my name is Tetsume."

**

* * *

**

These leaf-nin were incredibly irritating and, though Tetsume hated to admit it, incredibly good. None of them were using deadly jutsus, not that she believed they couldn't—especially One-Eye; he looked tough. They wanted to capture her.

Well, they would have to try a little harder. She glanced around at the drenched clearing and the equally wet (not to mention overly spunky) kunoichi. Tetsume smirked despite the pain in her stomach. "Wind Release! Arctic Blast!" she shouted, flipping through the hand seals. Icy air blew forth from her lungs and enveloped the surrounding area.

The leaf-nin threw their arms up as they flew backwards several feet. All the water around them froze and most satisfactory of all was Pinky, locked in place by ice.

"You bitch!" shouted the yellow-haired shinobi when he realized what she had done. "I'm gonna kick your ass, bastard!"

"That one's got a foul mouth, eh, One-Eye?" Tetsume said. "Not a very responsible sensei, are we?"

"Don't you talk about Kakashi-sensei like that!" the Foul-Mouth shouted.

"Naruto," One-Eye said. "Get Sakura out of the ice. I can handle my own honor."

"Oh, good, One-Eye," Tetsume said. "I didn't feel like teaching Foul-Mouth a lesson."

One-Eye smirked underneath his mask. "I have another eye, you know," he said, moving his forehead protector upward.

Tetsume gasped and stepped backwards. "Sharingan. But you're not an Uchiha. You're the Copy Ninja." She averted her eyes as she usually did when talking with Itachi.

"Yes, I am," he confirmed.

**

* * *

**

Tetsume the recruiter's apparent fear of the sharingan vanished in an instant. Kakashi almost wonder if it had truly been there at all. A quick backward glance revealed Naruto still chipping Sakura out of the ice and Sai a few feet behind him with his scroll and paint brush out.

"Question is," Tetsume said, smiling broadly, "how do you like the ice, Copy Ninja?"

"Don't confuse danger with fun," Kakashi said.

"Danger IS fun."

"Wrong."

Kakashi threw a kunai at her. It missed, of course, as she merely slid out of the way, but the explosive tag didn't and she had been too busy laughing to see it. The explosion broke through the ice-coated foliage, sending her own sharp shards flying at her.

Tetsume stumbled backwards, icicles embedded in her upper body and bleeding profusely.

"Ninja art! Beast imitation!" Sai shouted. A large snake burst forth from his scroll. With inky blackness, it slithered towards Tetsume and bound itself around her flailing arms.

"Excellent work, Sai," Kakashi said quietly. "Go help Naruto."

Tetsume struggled against her serpentine shackles, but failed. "You leaf-nin are good," she said grudgingly as Kakashi towered over her. "Help a girl up, would you?"

"That would be pointless," Kakashi replied calmly. He jabbed a pressure point near her neck and she crumpled to the ground. Lifting the recruiter up over his shoulder, Kakashi slowly made his way across the ice to where Sai and several versions of Naruto were almost completely done removing Sakura from the ice. All that remained were her feet.

"H-hurry," she chattered. "I'm c-c-cold."

"Sakura," Sai said slowly, "I think you should wear a sweater… or a jacket."

**

* * *

**

Uchiha Itachi paused to listen. The shouting he had heard coming from the forest around Kysetta had stopped. His feet began to tingle with an almost obsessive need to run faster. It wasn't the first time he wondered what was possessing him. It wasn't like he cared what happened to that damned girl.

With a derisive scoff that was more intended to reassure himself, he continued running. But he didn't dread anything. No, Uchiha Itachi never feared anything and certainly not the death of a pathetic subordinate. It would be very un-ninja-like. Uchiha Itachi was all ninja.

Itachi slowed down now that he was closer. He slid along the treetops like an acrobat. He saw an ice-coated clearing and knew immediately which jutsus Tetsume had used. He had copied them long ago. There were four other people in the clearing. _Kakashi the Copy Ninja… and the jinchuriki, Naruto… the Haruno girl… and some other idiot._ Tetsume was slung across Kakashi's shoulders.

_Better rescue her before she blabs,_ thought Itachi.

**

* * *

**

Sakura still shivered even though all three of her "boys" had donated clothing towards her recovery. She was swamped by Sai's new jacket, Naruto's orange fashion statement, and even Kakashi's jounin vest. "Are you d-d-done yet?" she asked. Naruto was still chipping away relentlessly at her feet.

"Well, it would be easier if we had some heat, but I don't think you want me to set you on fire, Sakura-chan," Naruto said.

"I w-wouldn't m-mind."

"Trust me, you would," Kakashi said. "We're almost done."

"Almost done" took a total of three minutes and thirty-seven seconds. Sakura was so completely angry by that time that she had to be forcefully told that it was not alright to beat up the recruiter while she was unconscious.

The really were ready to go. They were going to pull an all-nighter and make it back to Konoha by the next morning. They had a beautiful plan. It all ended with Tetsume being handed over to ANBU and the four of them getting some ramen. But plans hardly ever go off without a hitch.

It was a pretty big hitch too. No less than thirteen versions of Uchiha Itachi appeared in the clearing surrounding them. "Oh shit," Kakashi muttered. "Don't make eye contact!" he added.

Kakashi adjusted his forehead protector again. He only stood a chance with the sharingan. He pushed Tetsume off his shoulders. "Run as soon as you can. Don't risk your life for the recruiter," he ordered.

"Noble sentiments," thirteen Itachis said in unison. "But escape is impossible."

"I hate you, bastard!" Naruto shouted suddenly. "It's your fault Sasuke left to join Orochimaru!"

"Naruto, shut up!" Kakashi said quickly.

Itachi chuckled softly. "My brother is responsible for his own actions," he said. "You should hold him to that."

"Naruto," Kakashi warned. "Say nothing."

"Hn. I'm not here for the Kyuubi," Itachi said. "Not now, anyway."

"Then what are you here for?" Kakashi asked.

"My subordinate, if you will."

"She is very valuable to us," Kakashi said slowly.

"So are your lives."

"Our lives are equal to hers? She's just a subordinate. Why not kill her?"

"I don't have to explain myself to you," thirteen voices echoed.

Kakashi glanced at Naruto, Sakura, and Sai. They could not take Itachi. They had not bargained for this. It was better to escape with their lives. Kakashi knew this even if the others—especially Naruto—would be angry with him.

"Fine, Uchiha. You'll have her back, for now. In exchange for the safe retreat of myself and my three companions."

"Agreed," the Itachis said. A few parted to the side to allow them an escape. "Hand her to me."

Kakashi complied, placing Tetsume in the arms of the closest Itachi. It pained him that they had uncovered little about Akatsuki except that this particular subordinate that he had now placed back into Itachi's care was very important. Well, it was something that was perhaps useful and now they didn't have to burn themselves out to get back to Konoha.

"Come on," Kakashi said roughly, ignoring Naruto's glares.

**

* * *

**

When the leaf-nin were well gone, Itachi's copies vanished. The Uchiha gazed down at the unconscious and battered girl in his arms. "You so owe me, Tetsume," he said finally. "I better not find anymore purple hair dye on my sink from now on."

Unfortunately for Itachi, Tetsume had woken up at this exact moment and heard everything. "Don't worry," she said hoarsely. "I'll just switch out your shampoo."

"Hn, I should have let them take you," Itachi muttered, beginning to leap off through the dense trees.

"And why didn't you?" Tetsume asked, grimacing as he jarred her wounds.

"Because I made a promise," Itachi said quietly.

"Wow. I'm honored. You don't make OR keep many of those."

"Can't stop torturing me, can you?"

Tetsume grinned. "Never, Uncle Itachi. By the way, did the bucket get you?"

"I went out the window."

"Damn. Next time."

* * *

**Hey hey. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I think it's one of my best so far. If you don't mind, a review would be nice. I get excited about all the alerts and favorites, but reviews are schwinty (ok, so schwinty isn't a real word, but it should be). Big news, Oh CINEMATRAGEDY and myself have teamed up to co-write a NaruHina fic. Our co-penname is Tragedy of Madness and our fic will be called That's What She Said. If you like my style and humor, I urge you to read it, because it's even funnier when Cinema and I get going. If the fic isn't up tonight it will be up tomorrow. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'll try to be a bit timelier with my next update. I've been all messed up since my midterm exams are coming up. We're all going crazy. So review if you can and I'll see you… well I actually don't SEE any of you…. yeah… **


	6. That Time of the Month

_**Chapter 6**_: That Time of the Month

Tetsume moved abruptly and her wounds started to bleed out again. "Oh, damn," she said a little too loudly.

"Did you rip out your stitches again, Tetsume?" Itachi looked up from the book he was reading.

"If they could just be healed," Tetsume started to say.

"I can't do healing jutsus and neither can you. You'll have to wait until your father gets here with the medic-nin."

Tetsume rolled her eyes. "Everyone calls him my father except Kisame himself."

Itachi studied her for a moment. She was still somewhat disheveled from her fight and sprawled out on his couch. "I don't pretend to know how Kisame's mind works. Nevertheless, I do know he's going to have quite a bit to say about your behavior."

Tetsume looked away and made an unpleasant face.

"You should have fled as soon as you saw the sharingan and knew who he was. You are not even close to the skills of Kakashi the Copy Ninja."

"Itachi-san, you already told me this… seventeen times," she added.

Itachi's lips twitched into the vague resemblance of a smile. "I making sure this doesn't happen again. If you see Hatake Kakashi, or Uzumaki Naruto for that matter, you run as soon as you can."

Tetsume frowned. "You make me sound like a foolish gennin."

"And sometimes you act like when. You'll be treated as such until you can behave otherwise."

She sighed. "I should have been nicer to Sasori-san."

"If you had, you'd have been blown up by Deidara or, if you'd survived, under Tobi's jurisdiction. He would piss even you off."

"That bad, huh?"

"You have no idea."

**

* * *

**

Sakura was still shivering that night. From the looks of it, she was coming down with a cold. She could control her sneezing and despite her impressively little distance to the campfire they had built up, she simply could not get warm.

Sai approached the kunoichi very cautiously at first. He towered over her awkwardly for a few moments before she even noticed he was there. "Yes, Sai?" she asked, looking up at him.

"I read in a book that a man and woman will share body heat by being in very proximity when it is cold and this is a gesture of affection and care," he said. "Would it please you for us to do this?"

Sakura found his awkwardness strangely romantic. She smiled broadly. "Yes, it would."

Sai nodded and sat down very close to Sakura. He draped an arm around her shoulders, and she rested her head on his.

Naruto and Kakashi watched them from afar. "They make a strange pair," Kakashi said.

"Kakashi-sensei," Naruto replied, "I have two things to say to you."

"Let's hear them, then."

"One, you are absolutely right about those two being strange. And two, you are trying to distract me with all that because you don't want to argue. That's cowardly, Kakashi-sensei."

"You're right," the jounin replied, smiling. "I'm sorry."

"No, you're not. Why didn't we stay to fight Uchiha Itachi?"

"Uchiha Itachi is not an ordinary shinobi. He isn't even comparable to the many extraordinary ninja you know," Kakashi said slowly and deliberately. "With all of us working together perfectly and a little luck, we might have been able to subdue him, but there were too many disadvantages to fighting. For starters, any one of use could easily have been killed. If not dead, then seriously injured. Then how were we supposed to make a successful retreat? Naruto, you must understand that I thought through these factors carefully and made the best choice I could."

"I supposed I understand your reasons, even though I don't like them," Naruto replied.

"That is all I ask."

These things were far from Sakura's mind as she clung to Sai. Finally, she was starting to warm up.

**

* * *

**

When Kisame left the room, Tetsume broke down in tears. She had refused to cry in his presence. She had refused to show weakness as his harsh words stung and shamed her. Kisame had not given her any physical injuries considering the wounds she'd gotten in battle. He had refused to allow the medic-nin to treat her though. He said that the scars would serve as a reminder and the tedium of her own slow healing would be a just punishment.

Itachi entered the room without and warning and she smeared away her tears as quickly as possible. Itachi spared her a glance. "Any idiot would know you were crying," he said.

Tetsume didn't reply.

"He was harsh," he stated.

"Worse than your eighteen times," she said quietly. "I don't want to talk about it. I don't see why you would either."

He stared at her for a moment. "You need to be stronger."

Tetsume glared at him.

"I will teach you," he said shortly and left her to ponder his words.

**

* * *

**

Team Kakashi had not seen their temporary member all week after returning from their failed mission (Tsunade had not been pleased). Sai had not even come to training, which he usually did.

"I'm going to find out what that creepy bastard is doing!" Naruto announced.

"No, you will not," Kakashi said firmly, knowing that Naruto had not yet worked off all his pent up aggression from the mission. "Sakura, you go see what's wrong with Sai."

"Yes, Kakashi-sensei," she said quietly. Sakura had been planning to go see him anyway. She left before Naruto could protest. Because she knew he would. And they would get into an argument. And she would probably hit him. Again.

All of Sai's window shades were down. Sakura knocked gently on the door. A raspy voice told her to go away.

"Sai, this is Sakura! If you don't let me in, I will bust down this door," she shouted. "You know I will!"

"The door's unlocked."

Smiling with satisfaction, Sakura entered Sai's darkened room. The easels and paintbrushes looked strange in the dark. "Sai?"

"Over here."

Sakura turned to see his disheveled form surrounded by a mess of blankets on his couch. Her smile faded into shock. "Sai," she said, rushing to his side, "What's wrong?"

"You should not come so close. I am sick."

Visions of Sai sitting with her when she was cold and the vague traces of a cold she had the next day flashed through her mind. "That's my fault. I got you sick. You must have a really low tolerance," she began muttering, going through an entire medical diagnosis. "Don't worry. I already had this cold. You won't get me sick."

Sai mumbled a reply she couldn't hear.

"I'm going to make you some tea," Sakura said. "You stay right there."

"Oh, damn. I was planning on moving."

Sakura froze. "Sai… you just… used sarcasm."

"Did I?"

**

* * *

**

Tetsume pulled at the black thread that no longer served a purpose in her healed skin other than to make her incredibly itchy all the time. To be honest, it creeped her out to see the stitches sliding out of her flesh.

Itachi entered the room unannounced as he often did. Tetsume had gotten used to it. "Are you ready to train, Tetsume?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Yeah, sure."

"Your nonchalance is annoying," he said and led her out of the small, rented apartment.

"So, what are you going to teach me?"

"How to resist the sharingan."

"Excuse me. I must have gone temporarily insane. Could you repeat that?"

"I said," Itachi responded slowly, "I am going to teach you how to resist the sharingan." He stared at the enormous 'O' her mouth had for several minutes as the came to an isolated patch of forest; it amused him to no end. "You will no doubt come across Hatake Kakashi again. He is not nearly as proficient with the sharingan as myself since he is not an Uchiha, but he knows how to use it. Furthermore," he continued, "these techniques are useful in other areas. And if you're clever as you like to say you are, you'll figure that out on your own."

"You always find a way to insult me, Itachi-san."

"Only if you choose to see it that way," he replied smugly.

Tetsume rolled her eyes. "Get on with it."

"The first step to overcoming the sharingan is willpower."

"That's cliché."

"No interrupting! A man who has resigned himself to my sharingan has already lost," Itachi said. "If you wish to fight it with all your strength, it is still possible to try."

"And still cliché," Tetsume muttered.

"If you keep on grumbling about clichés," Itachi threatened, "you'll get the seventy-two hours of torment that will put you through so much pain, you won't be able to sit down for a month."

"Itachi-san, stop acting like my mother. I'm nineteen."

"Then act your age."

"I do. You don't know what normal nineteen-year-olds act like. I mean, come on, you were in that ANBU thing at thirteen!"

"Yes, and you'd be in an ANBU _cell_ undergoing intense interrogation if it weren't for me. So show some respect and shut up!"

"Fine!"

"As I was saying," he said, falling back into an infuriatingly calm tone, "willpower is the first step. Practice is the second. There are fighting techniques for avoiding eye contact. This is difficult because the easiest way to anticipate your opponent's movements is by watching his eyes."

"Then what do I watch instead?"

"The feet and hands," Itachi said. "It is slower since the eyes give the first indication. However, it will increase your reflexes since you will have less time to respond."

"That makes sense. So how do I go about training?"

"Simple. You're going to avoid my attacks," Itachi said. His smirk told her that he was going to have far too much fun.

"Son of a bitch."

**

* * *

**

Sakura has determinedly refused to leave Sai all alone while he was sick and despite his half-hearted protests, she had spent the night on his couch. She woke up in the middle of the night to the scratching of a pencil. She blinked in the bright light of a nearby lamp that had not been on when she'd fallen asleep.

Sai had dragged himself to the desk and was busily sketching away. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"I could not sleep, Sakura. So I decided to sketch you." He turned his pad around to show here.

"It's very nice, Sai, but you're sick. Get back in bed or I'll make you."

Sai grinned at her.

She narrowed her eyes. "You're getting better. I'll give you that. But you'd better get your ass in that bed!" She cracked her knuckles menacingly.

**

* * *

**

"Tetsume, what are you doing in my room, sitting on the end of my bed, in the middle of the night?" Itachi asked.

"I want to apologize for being bitchy today when you were training me," she said, fiddling with the end of her braid. "I really do appreciate it. I couldn't help myself though. That time of the month."

Itachi winced. "You talk too much."

"Here I am, _apologizing_, and you're still a jackass," she said angrily. Tetsume stormed out and immediately went searching for a cat.

**

* * *

**

The next morning when Itachi pulled on his shoes, his toes collided with an unpleasantly squishy substance which he later discovered was a nasty combination of cat vomit and a dead mouse.

"Tetsume!"

"Serves you right, asshole."

"I hate this time of the month!"

**

* * *

**

Sai had never understood the phrase: "He's thinking with his penis," until now. Back in the old days when his brother was alive, he would use the phrase to describe some of the more pigheaded males in Konoha. Sai had always wondered about it. After all, penises didn't have brains, so how on earth could that think?

Now Sai understood completely. Watching Sakura bustle about in his kitchen, he felt a strong desire coming from below the belt. Fortunately, Sai remembered exactly what had happened to the men his brother said thought with their penises and he had the good sense to tell his to 'shut the hell up.'

Sakura laid out a tray of toast and orange juice in front of him and smiled as she stole a piece of toast for herself. "You did not have to do all of this, Sakura," he said quietly.

"I know," she said, continuing to smile. "But I wanted to. One more night's sleep should have you back in good health," she added. "I expect to see you at training tomorrow morning."

Sai smiled. "I will come."

"Good," Sakura said as she rose from her chair. "Eat up and I'll see you tomorrow!"

As Sai watched her go, he made a few choice comments to his little friend below the belt.

* * *

**Hey, everybody. Sorry for the wait and sorry for the perversion in this chapter. I couldn't help myself. I actually edited a bit out 'cause oh CINEMATRAGEDY said it was pretty bad. For future references, this is about as perverted as I will ever get and I probably won't ever go this far again. It's just not typically my style. Anyway, on a different note. I've been talking with a few of my friends and I'm going to take a poll on this just because I don't want to get hate mail and flames or break taboos I still haven't found out about. Is anyone interested or completely against a TetsumexItachi pairing? Please let me know your opinion. If you don't voice it now, then you pretty much are stuck with whatever happens and I won't be very receptive to insults if you don't like how it turns out. So please tell me yes or no. Next chapter will probably be out in a week because that seems to be roughly how long it takes me… Maybe shorter since I've got a four day weekend coming… yay! Oh, and by the way, check out a story I've been co-writing with oh CINEMATRAGEDY. It's called "That's What She Said." Our penname is Tragedy of Madness and you can find a link to it in my profile favorites. Adios (and sorry for the long author's note).**


	7. Conspiracy of Another Kind

_**Chapter 7:**_ Conspiracy of Another Kind

Uchiha Sasuke's dreams were pink. He didn't want them to be. If he had any choice in the matter, his dreams would be about his ultimate revenge. He was an avenger after all. But he had no control over it. He dreamed of a pink-haired kunoichi who had offered to give up everything for him nearly three years ago. It was these dreams that (still very much against his better judgment) drove him to lead Team Hebi towards Konoha.

**

* * *

**

"Sakura, will you be my bitch?" Sai asked after a long day of training.

Even in her exhaustion, Sakura was livid. "What the hell was that?" she shouted, her hands clenched in fists.

"Oh… uh… did I say something wrong?"

"The hell you did! I am not your bitch, got that?"

"Then what are you?"

Sakura seemed at a loss for words for the briefest of moments. "All that matters is that you can't call me your bitch!"

"But I read in a book—"

"One of Jiraiya's?" she interrupted.

"Um… yes, actually."

An eerie calm settled over Sakura. "Well… there's only one thing to do about that." Her knuckles crackled and understanding dawned on Sai. As Sakura's fist propelled him into the dirty street, he knew that Sakura was forbidding Jiraiya's books as unacceptable reading material.

Sakura smiled down at Sai as he brushed some dirt off his jacket. "Do you understand?" she asked as she held a hand out to him.

"Yes, Sakura."

"Good. Would you like some tea?"

**

* * *

**

"What the hell could Sasuke-kun want with this dump?" Karin exclaimed, clearly prepared to go on a long rant no matter what answer was given to her.

Suigetsu decided it was time for one of his favorite hobbies: pissing Karin off. "Well, I doubt he wanted to tell you. After all, it's not like you're important."

"You're a dirty liar," she announced. "I won't believe a word you say."

He spoke with a sickening girlish flair. "Even if I know what _Sasuke-kun_ wants in Konoha?"

"He told you?" Karin shrieked.

"Maybe, maybe not."

**

* * *

**

Sakura's apartment was rather plain except for the large number of framed photographs. They were everywhere. She gestured to her pale blue couch. "Wait here, Sai. I'll be back in a minute."

Sai nodded and watched her disappear into the kitchen. It took only a few moments for a kettle to be filled with water on the stove and a few cups to be arranged on the counter.

"So this is where you're living now, Sakura-chan," a familiar voice said.

Sakura turned quickly, knocking one of the ceramic cups to the floor. "S-sasuke-kun? Is it really you?"

"Sakura, are you alright?" Sai called from her living room.

"Keep your voice down," Sasuke told her. "Tell him you're fine."

"I'm fine," Sakura shouted back to Sai. She took a few hesitant steps towards Sasuke. "Are you… are you really back?"

Sasuke didn't answer her question. "I want you to leave the village with me," he said simply.

"But—"

"Why do you hesitate?" he asked.

Sakura trembled a little. "I—"

"Did you not want this three years ago?" He took hold of her arm. "What is it? What keeps you here?"

"Why do you have to leave Konoha? I thought you had returned," he said.

Sasuke resisted the urge to laugh. He switched tactics. "I need you, Sakura-chan. I need a medic-nin. You are the only one talented enough."

Sakura seemed to deflate. "So you only want me for my abilities? So that I will be useful to you?"

He looked at her in confusion. Since when did she question people like this? And him of all people? "Sakura-chan, I won't take no for an answer."

There was a spirit of resolve in her eyes that Sasuke had never seen before. "Sasuke-kun, I want you to stay in Konoha. I have missed you. Naruto has missed you. Kakashi-sensei has missed you. Don't you understand?"

Sasuke locked eyes with her for a long time. Neither of them spoke.

The door knob began to turn. "Sakura, I was starting to think that you would not re—Sasuke?"

"Sai," Sakura said, turning to look at him. She saw a look on his face that she never though would be there.

Sai was angry. He glared at Sasuke and the hand he still had wrapped around her wrist. "Let go of Sakura," he told Sasuke.

Sasuke smirked. "I don't think Sakura wants me to let go of her, do you Sakura-chan?"

Sakura started to tremble again. "I-I—"

Sai felt as though he were possessed by some strange spirit. He certainly wasn't thinking at this point. He unsheathed his small katana. "Release her!"

The Uchiha pushed Sakura to the side and drew his own blade. "You do not tell me what to do. Nor do you get away with threatening me. Sakura will be leaving with me."

"Have you asked Sakura if she wants to leave, Sasuke?"

Sasuke didn't answer.

"Sai, Sasuke-kun, don't fight!"

Sakura's plea went unheard as Sasuke tossed her away and met Sai's blade with his own. It was a sight to behold, one smiled with insincerity and the other with sickening confidence. And Sakura watched helplessly, feeling like she had when Naruto went after Sasuke. But she knew that Sai would lose.

"No!" Sakura shouted amidst the harsh cry of metal on metal. "I will not be a burden!" She pulled her gloves on faster than she ever had before and pushed herself between the two shinobi.

The blades came down for the next strike, but they did not crash against each other. Sakura had taken hold of both blades. Sai and Sasuke stared at her for a moment, transfixed by her bleeding hands. In an instant, Sakura had applied her superhuman strength and crushed the katanas in her fingers.

Sasuke was running out of options. He'd been holding back for a long time, which was why Sakura had managed to break his blade. "I didn't want to have to do this," he said softly. His eyes went red as his sharingan activated. He moved quickly. Before anyone could blink an eye, he had stuck a pressure point on the back of Sakura's neck that made her collapse on the kitchen floor.

Sai drew a kunai in a last effort, but he could not beat the sharingan. The metal embedded itself in the kitchen wall and Sasuke stabbed him in the stomach with his own kunai. Sai gripped the bleeding wound. He was vaguely aware that Sasuke had disappeared with Sakura as he fell to his knees. With stumbling fingers, he rolled his scroll out and painted a small mouse. "Ninja Art. Beast imitation technique." The inky rodent sprang to life. "Find… Naruto." His last thought was that the red blood on his hand reminded him of Sakura's headband and he passed out.

**

* * *

**

Sai's mouse had a few issues waking Naruto up in the middle of the night, but after a good bite on the left earlobe, he was wide awake and screaming. "Sai, you creep!" he shouted when he saw the rodent. "I won't forgive you! I'll kill you, dattebayo!"

Naruto flung himself at Sai's minion, missing and smashing into the wall as it escaped out his window. "Get back here!" he yelled, chasing after it.

**

* * *

**

"Who the hell is she?" Karin shouted, pointing at the girl Sasuke returned with.

Sasuke ignored her and motioned for his followers to do what they did best (follow) while he continued to tote a mysterious, pink kunoichi on his shoulder.

"Who is she, Sasuke-kun?" Karin asked a little more softly.

The Uchiha ignored her question again. "We need to move quickly," he said. "They'll realize that she's gone missing soon… a lot sooner than I'd hoped too," he added quietly.

"What did you kidnap her for?" Suigetsu asked, intrigued by the girl that was clearly causing Karin a large amount of distress.

"Later," Sasuke said shortly.

"Bet she's his old girlfriend," Suigetsu whispered to Karin, wiggling his pinky finger.

"Sasuke-kun did NOT have a girlfriend in Konoha!"

"Oh, that's right. He's asexual."

The only one completely uninteresting was Juugo. He didn't care what happened as long as Sasuke was around to keep him sane. And it was a good thing Sasuke was back too, because he was starting to wonder if Karin and Suigetsu's bickering would drive him over the edge.

**

* * *

**

"Ah-ha, creep, I've found you," Naruto declared as he watched Sai's mouse scurry into a house, or rather an apartment, through an open window. "Prepare to meet your doom!" He followed the mouse, but gasped at what he saw. He was looking at Sakura's kitchen in a state of disarray that Naruto knew the tidy kunoichi would never allow.

A kettle whistled piercingly on the stove. The floor was covered in shards of broken metal and fired clay. A pool of blood welled up around the crumpled form of none other than Sai.

Naruto turned off the stove so he could hear himself think and crouched down beside Sai. "Hey, wake up! Creep, what happened?"

Sai's eyes blinked open slowly. "S… Sasu… ke," he whispered and slipped back into unconsciousness.

"What about Sasuke?" Naruto shouted.

Sai could not answer.

"I have to get you to Tsunade-baachan!"

**

* * *

**

Sai woke up several hours later with an enormous stomach ache and sunlight streaming down on his face. He had lost so much blood that his already sun-deprived skin nearly matched the pure white hospital sheets. Sai gasped as the memories of the previous night rushed back to him and he let out an involuntary shouted. "Sakura!"

The door was all but destroyed as four people—Naruto, Kakashi, Tsunade, and Shizune—tried to get into the room all at once.

"He's awake!"

"Well, duh, brat!"

"Hey! Baachan!"

"Not in public!"

"Shut up!" Shizune shouted. "We're in a hospital, in case you've forgotten!"

"Oh… right," Tsunade said, but continued to glare at Naruto. She walked over to Sai's bed where he was watching them interestedly. "Sai, who did this to you?"

"Uchiha Sasuke."

"Sasuke… was here?" Tsunade asked.

"I'll have Pakkun confirm it," Kakashi said. "Summoning no jutsu!" The little dog appeared on the sterile floor.

"What's up?"

"Sasuke might have visited Konoha last night. Go to Sakura's apartment and confirm it. And after you give a report, we'll go from there," Kakashi said.

"Roger." Pakkun scampered away.

"Sakura's gone missing," Tsunade said slowly. "Did she… leave with Sasuke?"

"Yes," Sai said, "but not on her own free will."

"Tell us what happened," Tsunade urged.

Sai grimaced as his stab wound twinged painfully. "Sakura went into her kitchen to make tea. I heard a crash but she said she was fine," Sai said. "I was staring to wonder what was taking so long and I went to see. Sasuke was holding onto her wrist. I told him to let her go. He wouldn't. He said he was taking Sakura away, so we fought. Sakura got in the middle and broke our swords. That's when Sasuke used his sharingan to stab me and kidnap Sakura. He knocked her unconscious and fled out the window. I had enough energy to send a mouse to Naruto and then I passed out."

"In a way, this is a relief," Tsunade said.

"How?" Naruto asked. "Now Sasuke AND Sakura are gone!"

"This means that Sakura won't ever be hunted as a missing-nin, since she was forcibly taken," Kakashi said. "It may also mean that she will try to come back. She may even bring Sasuke back."

Naruto brightened considerably.

"I fear for Sakura's safety in Sasuke's company," Sai interrupted.

"Are you crazy?" Naruto asked. "It's Sasuke!"

"He tried to kill you," Kakashi said quietly. "You have to realize he is not the same person he was. I agree. We should attempt to find her quickly."

"I'm coming," Sai said, trying to sit up.

Shizune forced him back down. "You're in no state to leave yet."

"Don't worry," Tsunade said. "Team Kakashi isn't leaving without you." She sighed at the difficulty of the task ahead of her, an administrative nightmare. "Kakashi, I want you to pick up Sasuke's trail. Naruto, stay her in case Sai remembers something else important. I need to find you a temporary teammate." She started to leave then stopped. "Hopefully, you'll be leaving tonight."

**

* * *

**

When Sakura woke up, it was midday. Her hands had been bandaged and she was surrounded by trees. Dim light filtered through the foliage and fell on a single brooding figure several meters away from her. She shifted her weight and sat up. "Sasuke-kun, I want to go home."

He ignored her request. "You're awake. How are your hands?"

"Sasuke-kun, did you hear me?" she asked. "I want to go home. To Konoha. To my life!"

His dark eyes pierced her. "Why would you want any of that?" he said. "I told you that you were leaving."

"I have a mind and freewill, Sasuke-kun," Sakura said. "I belong in the Hidden Leaf Village!" She paused a moment. "You belong there too!"

"You belong with me and I am here," he said.

"If I were stronger, I would escape."

"Then you will always be by my side," he said.

"We'll see." She unwrapped the bandages on her hands. A small trickle of healing jutsu was enough for the damages she had sustained. "My hands are fine."

* * *

**Hey, everybody. So sorry for the long wait on getting this one out. I blame midterms and taxidermists. Anyway, the poll on the TetsumexItachi pairing is still going on since we won't be seeing them for at least another chapter. If it isn't abundantly clear, they would be a side pairing. I'm also thinking of adding in NaruHina, but only if it works. Sai and Sakura are the main pairing! Anywho, poll is still on so please do tell me your opinion. Thanks to everyone who has been reviewing so far, I really appreciate it. I'll try to get next chapter out a bit sooner. (This is the point where I want to say something totally cool and kickass in a foreign language, but I got nothing.)**


	8. Forcing a Connection

_**Chapter 8:**_ Forcing a Connection

"Thank you for getting here so quickly, Hinata," the Hokage said, leaning back in her chair.

"O-of course, Hokage-sama. You said it was urgent."

"Yes," Tsunade said. "Sasuke returned to Konoha in the middle of the night and kidnapped Sakura. I imagine by the way gossip travels in this village that you've already heard."

"Yes, Tsunade-sama."

Tsunade smiled at Hinata. "Team Kakashi will be attempting a rescue mission at nightfall. I would like you to serve as a temporary member for this mission."

Despite the gravity of the situation, Hinata could not help but feel some small excitement at the prospect of a mission with Naruto. "Yes, Tsunade-sama. I will do my best."

"I expect no less from a Hyuuga. You will find Naruto and Sai in the hospital. I want you to meet up with them there and inform them of my decision."

**

* * *

**

"Haruno Sakura," Karin said, staring spitefully at the girl she named. "You don't look all that special to me."

Sasuke had, in as few words as possible, introduced her to what he called Team Hebi about an hour ago before disappearing with the largest member of the group, Juugo. The Uchiha left the other two with strict instructions not to let Sakura leave.

Sakura looked over at the displeased girl. "Your name was Karin, right?"

"Yes," she replied. "I don't see why Sasuke-kun bothered to go back to Konoha for you," Karin added coldly.

"I'm trained in medical jutsus by Lady Tsunade herself. Sasuke-kun said something about needing a medic-nin before he fought with my… teammate."

"I'm perfectly good at healing jutsus," Karin muttered.

"But not nearly as good as this one apparently," the other member of Hebi said, finally joining the conversation. Sakura thought his name was something like Suigetsu. He creeped her out. "Nor," he added, watching the color rise in Karin's cheeks, "are you as pretty to look at."

"You bastard," Karin shouted, waving a fist at Suigetsu.

"It's not my fault you're ugly."

"Karin-san," Sakura interrupted quietly. "I would not let other people's opinions get to you, particularly those who take pleasure from your discontent. You are not unattractive in the slightest."

Karin gaped at her for a moment.

"I have spent a large number of years," Sakura continued, "worrying about boys and appearances and love. The truth is, you hardly ever get love by looking for it."

Karin narrowed her eyes. "I don't care what nice girl act you put on. You aren't stealing Sasuke-kun away from me!"

_Well… Ino's got new competition. Which is fine since I'm out of the game._ "All I want if to go back to Konoha," Sakura said softly. "Sasuke-kun was my teammate. I miss him. He's not the same anymore, but I still wish he'd go back to the village."

"Sasuke-kun is better than your stupid village!" Karin declared. "It is beneath him!"

"I think you and Naruto would have an interesting argument."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"What are you stupid?" Suigetsu asked.

Sakura sighed and let them bicker. Karin clearly didn't care that Sakura would make a good peacemaker. Foolish girl.

**

* * *

**

"Na-naruto-kun, Sai-san."

Sai and Naruto looked over to see Hyuuga Hinata standing in the stark doorway of the hospital room. "Feel free to abandon name suffixes," Sai said from the bed.

"Oh, s-sorry," she stuttered. "Tsunade-sama said I'll be your temporary teammate."

"Alright!" Naruto cheered. "We'll definitely get Sakura and Sasuke back!"

Hinata smiled faintly.

Naruto turned to Sai. "Hurry up and heal already! It's not that hard."

"Someone who lack intelligence should shut up," Sai said.

"What are you trying to say, creep?"

"I'm saying that you're stupid. And having to explain that proves my point," Sai replied. "Useless."

_This will be interesting,_ Hinata thought.

**

* * *

**

"Are you having trouble finding the scent?" Kakashi asked, following Pakkun out of the village.

"None at all," the dog replied. "It's clear as day."

"Hn," Kakashi muttered contemplatively.

"You're worried it won't stay that way for long?" Pakkun guessed.

Kakashi nodded. "I have a feeling that Sasuke didn't have this move so carefully planned out. He might be messy for a little while, but he'll lose us fast."

"Sakura," Pakkun said.

"What about her?" Kakashi asked.

"You think she isn't going to do everything she can to keep us on the right track?"

"Ah, of course. How could I forget?"

**

* * *

**

Sakura eyed a thorny plant nervously. _It'll just be a little prick_, she told herself. She glanced around briefly to make sure no one was looking, then gripped the stem hard in her hand, letting the thorns pierce her newly healed palms.

Her hand came away, gleaming with shinny, red beads of blood. Sakura let it drip onto the grass before she healed it over with her jutsu. Then she scratched into the dirt: _My trail. Not hurt._

She knew that her scent would fade and Sasuke would confuse the trail, but her blood would forever stain this place. If she bled a little each day, she could make a quick and easy trail that could not be erased.

**

* * *

**

The stars were beginning to wink into sight as Team Kakashi assembled at the village gate. Sai's abdomen was still wrapped in snowy white bandages. Naruto waited eagerly as Kakashi arrived. Sai looked aloof as usual and Hinata fidgeted.

"Our mission is to track Haruno Sakura and rescue her from Uchiha Sasuke. That is what goes on the record. Potentially persuading Sasuke to return would be a bonus," Kakashi added. "Everyone clear?"

They nodded.

"Ahem. Summoning no jutsu!"

"That wasn't much of a break, Kakashi," Pakkun accused. Kakashi shrugged. "After Sasuke, right?" The Copy Ninja nodded. The little dog sniffed their air briefly. "This way," he muttered. The chase began.

**

* * *

**

On the second day of her kidnapping, Sakura was beginning to understand the reality of the nightmare she was living. She felt a deep ache of regret in her heart for her home. They stopped to eat around midday. Sakura noticed that Sasuke was continuously staring at her, more because of Karin's indignant glares that anything else.

"What are you looking at?" she muttered rudely.

"I notice that your hair is growing longer, Sakura-chan," he said. It was true. In fact, it was starting to bother her and she had contemplated trimming in only a few days ago. "I would like you to continue growing out your hair," Sasuke said.

"Oh, would you?" she said, now determined to find some kind of blade to trim her hair shorter than she ever had before for no purpose other than blatant defiance.

**

* * *

**

"Kakashi, come look at this," Pakkun called from a tree stump.

Kakashi walked over to where the dog was standing. "A bloodstain?" Dark red marred a small patch of the ground.

"It's Sakura's," Pakkun elaborated darkly. "There's some writing there in the dirt." Kakashi bent closer to make out the careful etching.

"'My trail. Not hurt,'" he read aloud. "Damn, that girl is resourceful."

"What is it, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked, noting the older man's pensive silence.

Kakashi pointed to the crimson stain. "Sakura is leaving us a trail that Sasuke can't tamper with."

"Is she hurt?"

Sai arrived now with Hinata following behind him. "No," Sai said. He gestured to the writing in the dirt. "It's deliberate."

"We're going to stop her for awhile," Kakashi said. "There may be other clues around here. It seems that if Sakura managed to leave a trail that no one noticed, they were here for quite some time."

"Kakashi," Pakkun interrupted. "There are three distinct scents I don't recognize. I don't like them either."

"Then we can assume that Sasuke has assembled a team," Sai said.

"It would appear so," Kakashi agreed.

**

* * *

**

Sakura discovered that Karin could be a strange sort of ally in her plans to defy Sasuke in every way possible. Her opportunity came during one of Sasuke's numerous trips away from the main group.

"Karin, I need to cut my hair," Sakura said coyly. "Can I borrow a kunai?"

"But Sasuke-kun said—" Karin stopped and grinned broadly. "Of course," she said. "In fact, go really short."

"I'm so glad you said that," Sakura said, smiling. "I was thinking of going even shorter than usual." She accepted the blade and undid the knot that held her headband in place. Grinning with a border-line psychotic fervor, she sawed off chunks of her shoulder-length hair until the style resembled Hinata's back in their rookie days.

Sakura looked at the forehead protector in her hand for a moment. She smiled a little wider and tied it across her forehead instead of as a headband.

**

* * *

**

Part of Uchiha Sasuke was secretly thrilled by Sakura's defiance. She had become more than just another stalking, obsessive fangirl. It was the challenged that seemed to draw him in. The other part of Sasuke was furious and frustrated. How dare she defy him? And displaying the symbol of Konoha even more prominently on her forehead? Who did she think she was?

Sasuke felt an overtly make desire to assert his authority. "I wanted you to grow out your hair," he said coldly.

Sakura turned her defiant gaze on him. "I would grow my hair for Sai if he asked, but not for you." Her face held no trace of a smile or jest. Her eyes were not cold but instead blazed fiercely.

"Sai? What's so great about that emotionless idiot?"

"You're hardly one to brag about emotions," Sakura replied. "You're so bent on your own self-destruction revenge you cannot se what devastation you leave in your wake. Do you have any idea what you've done to Naruto?"

Sasuke held back his fury which was threatening to become explosive. "I don't want to talk about Naruto. I want to talk about why I'm not good enough for you anymore."

Sakura could not contain her laugh. "Anymore? I'm starting to realize you were never good enough for me! Do you know what Sai has made me realize? Even though he's trained to be emotionless, he at least tried to make connections with others!"

"What do you think I'm doing?"

"You aren't making a connection. You're forcing one. Sasuke-kun, I will be your teammate, but nothing more."

Sasuke's gaze made Sakura feel truly afraid of him like she never had before. "We'll see," he said and turned his back on her.

Sakura shivered. "I supposed we will."

**

* * *

**

Team Kakashi had stopped to rest for the night. For the most part, they had barely rested since setting out the previous night, so they hadn't slept for the better part of two days. "Even if we catch up before dawn," Kakashi reasoned, "we'll be in no shape to pull off a rescue. Rest up."

Sai pulled out his sketchbook and began drawing furiously. Naruto watching him for a minute or two before curiosity got the better of him and he got up to get a closer look at Sai's art.

It was a black and white portrait of Sakura, but unlike the others, Sai had not drawn her with a smile. Her lips fell into a frown and soft tears slid down her cheeks. Her eyes gazed up forlornly from the page.

"Why is she crying?" Naruto asked.

"She's sad," Sai said slowly, "because she's lost."

"We'll find her," Naruto said, placing his hand on the other boy's shoulder. "That's a promise." He paused a moment before speaking again. "You love, Sakura-chan, don't you?"

"I don't know what love is."

Naruto scratched the back of his head. "Hah. People with emotions don't even know what love is most of the time."

"I suspect that your infinitesimal penis is the reason for your lack of knowledge," Sai replied.

"Hey, bastard! I was being nice for a change! Don't go acting like an asshole!"

"Hey, idiots!" Kakashi shouted from where he had been trying very much in vain to sleep. "Shut up!"

* * *

**Hey Everyone. I'm sooo sorry for the long wait. It would have been up yesterday, except I accidentally left my notebook in my locker and it was very traumatic (because my notebook is like my baby). But on the bright side, they chapter is up now. It has some of my favorite parts thus far. AND I'll be done pretty soon with Chapter 9 and that will likely be up this weekend. (And by the way, Cinema and I posted another chapter of our collaboration fic. You can find a link in my favorites. And we will most likely be updating that a little more frequently now that midterms are done.) So anyway. Please make my day and review. Constructive criticism and so forth. **


	9. Age Ante Nocte

**Just a warning there are some spoilers for those who are not up to date with the manga.

* * *

**

_**Chapter 9: **_Age Ante Nocte (Come Before Darkness)

"Itachi-san, what is it?"—Tetsume had been meditating for the last three hours under Itachi's orders. He claimed that it would help in her resistance training, but so far her effort yielded little result and an overwhelming number of bruises (so many that she had taken to wearing a plain, zip-up jacket so she didn't have to watch the bruises go from purple to yell before disappearing completely).

The sunlit room looked like an alien landscape compared to the warm red of her eyelids. Still, she could see the slight alteration in Uchiha Itachi's appearance that few could detect (and she had own learned to detect them because her antics usually caused little visible irritation in the man). Tiny creases had appeared in the corners of his mouth, showing small signs of worry. Tetsume had felt he atmosphere around her change during her meditation. She stared at the slightly older man intently.

"Itachi-san, what is it?" Tetsume repeated.

"Nothing," he replied briskly, moving to stand up. "Go back to meditating. Another three hours for breaking your concentration."

"But—"

"Three and a half."

Tetsume shut up.

"Do not leave this room until I return," he said and disappeared out the door, hesitating slightly to make sure there were not buckets of water waiting to fall on him.

* * *

"Kisame, are you here?" Itachi called out into a dark apartment. "Yes, you are here," he concluded.

Hoshigaki Kisame stepped out of the shadows, grinning predatorily. "Damn, you are good at sensing presences."

Itachi nodded slightly. "Speaking of which, I sense the approach of a particular presence."

"Sasuke is coming?" Kisame guessed.

"Yes," Itachi replied.

"What do you want to do?"

"I need his eyes now."

Kisame's smiled widened, thinking about Sasuke's blood. "Then I'll send him your way. Do you want to do this today?"

"He'll be in an acceptable location within a few hours," Itachi said rationally, or at least as rationally as a man planning his own brother's demise could sound.

"You're positive he's coming this way?"

Itachi gave his partner a penetrating stare. "You were there when I hired those men to leak information on my whereabouts to Sasuke, only Sasuke. He's following the trail."

Kisame shifted uncomfortably and turned his hand to rest comfortingly on the hilt of his blade. It was not a gesture of aggression, no matter how it seemed, but, in fact, an action that reassured the weapon's owner. "Right," he muttered softly.

I have to get back to training your _daughter_," Itachi said.

"Hn."

"That's what she is, whether you like it or not." Itachi breathed deeply. "I'd better go before she inadvertently causes the apocalypse."

"What happened to wanting to kill her?" Kisame asked, feeling rather adverse to being lectured about family by none other than Itachi.

"So now you want me to kill her?" The corners of Itachi's mouth twitched slightly.

"No, I—"

"Your judgment is clouded by your anger, Kisame."

**

* * *

**

Sakura was starting to worry about being alone with Sasuke. He had not hurt her and inmost circumstances, she had no fear that he ever would. But in the last day or so, Sasuke had transformed into something that was even more unrecognizable. A maniac glint melded into his eyes.

As they began traveling that day, Sasuke drew p next to her. "The team will be in danger in a very short time. I plan to kill a certain man today. If things should not go according to plan, I would like your word, Sakura-chan, that you will use your healing abilities."

Sakura felt cold as she returned his gaze. "I am bound by a healer's honor," she replied.

"Then I have your word?" Sasuke persisted.

"Yes," she replied monosyllabically.

Sasuke reached out to touch her as they continued walking, but Sakura shied away from him. He sighed in frustration. "This could be pleasurable for both of us if you let it be."

She looked at him hard. "I will not betray Sai."

"What is he to you?"

"He is the man who holds my heart this care."

"Did I not hold your heart at one time?" Sasuke asked.

"But you did not care to keep it from harm, Sasuke-kun."

"Kun. You still call me 'Sasuke-kun.'"

"Old habit," she said quickly.

"Is it?" Sasuke took her arm and made her stop.

"Let me go," Sakura said.

"Look at me," he implored.

"I will hate you if you use your sharingan on me," she warned.

"I won't. Look at me."

Sakura turned her head and looked him in the eye. She saw madness in his eyes. "Where have you gone, Sasuke-kun? I do not recognize you anymore." She pulled her arm out of his grasp and resumed walking.

"This is who I am," he shouted after her. "This is who you love!"

"Loved," she corrected. "And you're wrong."

**

* * *

**

"Kakashi," Pakkun shouted. "There's a blood stain in these bushes!" He started digging in a curious spot that smelt strongly of Sakura as the others gathered around him. Sections of pink hair started coming up in the dirt Pakkun clawed at.

"Eh? Did Sakura get a hair cut?" Naruto said loudly.

"U-uh," Hinata stuttered briefly. "In the academy days, the other girls said Sasuke liked long hair."

Naruto blinked at her. "Well, that's ridiculous."

"Clearly, Sakura is trying to piss off Sasuke by cutting her hair," Kakashi said, taking a few strands in his fingers. "Quite a bit too. He must have mentioned her hair specifically."

"There's a blood stain," Pakkun said. "So we're on the right track."

"So which way does the trail go?" Kakashi asked.

"That would be the problem," Pakkun replied. "It diverges in two directions."

"Do you see any writing?" Sai asked.

"No. Nothing else abnormal."

Hinata moved her hands in front of her. "Byakugan." She scanned the area briefly. "Nothing," she confirmed.

"Then we'll have to split up," Kakashi said. "Naruto and Hinata, take Pakkun and follow one trail. I'll go with Sai on the other. If you find anything, send Pakkun for us."

Naruto and Hinata nodded and followed after Pakkun while Kakashi summoned another dog.

**

* * *

**

"My excitement has plateaued, Itachi-san," Tetsume said.

"That's not even a verb. Shut up."

"You know how bad I am at doing that," Tetsume said caustically from the couch. Her head was looking like a very nice target for Itachi's kunai from where the Uchiha was standing. Damn his promises that he actually felt some sort of sick obligation to keep. Instead, he threw a cloak at her. "What's this for?"

"The rain," Itachi said, nodding at the obvious downpour taking place outside their window.

"You're kidding? You're making me go out in that? What kind of suck-ass training is this for?" she demanded.

"If it's any consolation," Itachi said as thunder and lightning crackled outside, "I'm going out too. And we won't be out for long."

"Am I going to get a response when I ask where they hell we're going?" Tetsume asked dryly.

"For a kunoichi from the Mist Village, you're pretty pathetic when it come to rain," Itachi taunted.

"I resent that."

"You should. Now get off the couch."

"Ass."

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Come on. Let's get a move on."

**

* * *

**

Team Hebi and Sakura were scaling a large hill when the rain began to sink into them and chill the very marrow of their bones. Only Suigetsu seemed unfazed. Kain began complaining loudly. Suigetsu gave offense. They bickered wildly, match only by the harsh thunder and swift lightning.

Sakura slipped on the muddied slop and might have slid all the way down had Juugo not caught her hand in his larger one. She smiled for she had only seen the man when he was unspeakably sweet-tempered and never in his madness.

Lightning blinded them for a moment and in the flicker of light, the silhouette of a tall man appeared before them. The light faded to later be echoed in a peal of thunder that reminded Sakura of ripping paper. The man's features became clear. It was Hoshigaki Kisame.

He smiled toothily at them. "Itachi is waiting for you at the Uchiha Hideout," he said to Sasuke.

"I assumed I cannot bring my team," Sasuke said tonelessly.

"Hn. In all fairness, Itachi's got a subordinate…"—he grinned—"… let's make this interesting. Go ahead. Pick one."

Sasuke's eyes trained instantly on Sakura. She avoided his gaze. "I'll need a medic-nin," he said, hoping to avoid an outburst from Karin. "Sakura, let's go."

"Take someone else," she said softly.

"You gave your word," Sasuke replied. "Let's go."

Reluctantly, she followed after him with a sense of impending doom hanging over her head. Sakura was by no means blessed with habitual intuition but she would be a fool not to recognize the ominous air around them.

**

* * *

**

Pakkun stopped abruptly, causing Naruto to crash haphazardly into Hinata. "Ah! Hinata! Are you okay?" He turned to Pakkun. "Why did you stop?"

"Because the trail stops," Pakkun replied, shaking a large amount of water out of his fur, further soaking Naruto.

"Hey!"

"Sorry," the dog said, though he didn't look that sorry at all. "Part of it is that the rain is washing away the trail, but the smell is exceptionally strong on this spot."

"But there aren't any people around here," Hinata said, wiping some mud off her shirt that had been put there when Naruto had knocked her down.

"The smell is coming from here," Pakkun said, pawing at the ground below him.

"Do you see anything, Hinata?" Naruto asked.

"Byakugan." Hinata scanned the ground Pakkun was poking at. "There's an old shirt buried a few feet down," Hinata said. "It's probably Sasuke's."

"So we're on the false trail," Naruto said. "Kakashi-sensei will find them. Can you take us to Kakashi-sensei?" he asked Pakkun.

"It never ends," the dog muttered. "C'mon, punk."

**

* * *

**

"Itachi-san, are you going to explain anything to me or just sulk around ominously?" Tetsume asked.

"Sulk probably," Itachi replied just to spite her. His fingers drummed on the window sill, but the sound was lost in the solid percussion of the continuous rain.

Tetsume resigned herself to be as annoying as possible. She sat down on the smooth floor that could use a good dusting. Deciding that her evil deed would be worth a dusty posterior, she remained there. Tetsume reached around to her side pouch and drew out a ridiculously sharp kunai and a well-worn whetstone.

She did not have any need to sharpen her blade, but Tetsume enjoyed the sound she created and even more enjoyed the expression Uchiha Itachi wore. "Irritating girl," Itachi muttered almost inaudibly.

Tetsume smiled and continued to drag the kunai along the surface of the whetstone. But she quickly lost his attention. She saw his fingers clench the windowsill and he had very nearly ceased to blink.

She stood up, wiping off her dusty ass. "What is it?"

"I'm impressed he came," he said softly to himself.

"Who?"

Itachi looked away from the window for the first time since they had arrived. "My little brother."

"Sasuke? What's he doing here?"

"I called him here."

"When were you planning on telling me this?"

"Just now actually."

"Bitch!"

"No need to get rude about it." Itachi glanced at the window again. "Ah, Kisame let him bring the Haruno girl."

Tetsume joined him by the window. "Oh, it's Pinky!"

"Yes, I believe you fought with her."

"Froze her ass too," Tetsume muttered. "Though she can pack a punch."

"Because she's trained by Lady Tsunade. She's a medic-nin and I'd imagine she's one of the best."

Tetsume cleared her throat. "Alright. Tell me what the hell is going on here."

**

* * *

**

The dog Kakashi had summoned to follow the second trail unfortunately had a large amount of long fur that was horrifically matter in the rain. "Hey, Kakashi," the dog barked out.

"Yeah?"

"The weird scents Pakkun didn't recognize are really strong up ahead."

"On the hill, Kakashi-taichou," Sai said, pointing to the silhouettes of four figures on the summit.

"Who's number four? I can't see that far and stay in the tree cover," Kakashi said.

"Want me to scout ahead?" the dog asked.

"Please. We'll wait here."

Sai and Kakashi crouch low among the tree branches. They were located on the very edge of a deep forest. A long valley stretched out before them and gently began to slope up into a hill that gained height rapidly. Kakashi's hound was making his way through the slippery grasses in the valley and up the hill. He went surprisingly fast mostly likely because of his advantageous four legs.

"Kakashi-taichou, if three of those four people are part of Sasuke's team and the fourth person is neither Sasuke nor Sakura, then where are they?"

"I believe we'll find out soon enough," Kakashi said. "I just wish these trees went further."

A soft bark alerted them to the return of Kakashi's canine friend. "Well?"

"I have no idea who the strange scents are, but the fourth person is Hoshigaki Kisame of Akatsuki."

Kakashi's eyes widened. "Do you hear anything they were saying?"

"Yes. The female one was complaining rather loudly about how Sasuke went to the Uchiha Hideout with Sakura to go kill Itachi."

"This is bad," Kakashi said. "Alright. I want you to tell the others to meet us at the Uchiha Hideout. After that you and Pakkun can rest."

"Roger." As the dog turned to sniff the air, Naruto, Hinata, and Pakkun landed on the branch.

"We were following a false trail, Kakashi-sensei," Naruto said.

"I know. Come on. I'll explain on the way."

**

* * *

**

The hallways of the Uchiha Hideout were shadowy and dark, lit only by the occasional flicker of lightning. Solemnly, Sasuke rattled off instructions that Sakura only half-listened to, transfixed by the hallway's foreboding qualities. "…You will not fight with Itachi. He is mine. Do nothing unless I tell you to. If you must defend yourself then do so, but I doubt Itachi's subordinate is here to fight." Sasuke stopped walking and Sakura bumped into him. He turned around swiftly and gripped her arms in his hands. "I will not leave here without you."

"I know," Sakura replied softly, then hardened. "But you made me come."

Sasuke released her looking very dissatisfied. "You will change your mind I think. Just remember your promise."

"I remember everything I say, Sasuke-kun."

He ignored her last comment and resumed their walk to a large set of doors. Sasuke opened them and they stepped into a wide, dusty hall that was occupied by two other people.

"Well, Sasuke," Itachi said from across the chamber. "I'm impressed you came. I'm even impressed by the killer intent you've managed to muster up." He laughed softly. "But is it enough? Do you have enough anger and hate to destroy me, brother? But I see I'm being rude. I have not introduced Tetsume, daughter of Hoshigaki Kisame and Akatsuki subordinate."

"An elegant introduction, brother, but I am here for one purpose and one purpose only. I am here to destroyed you," Sasuke said.

"You didn't acquire mangekyou. You couldn't kill the Uzumaki boy. Surely you know your attempt shall be in vain?"

"You are wrong, Itachi. I did not do things your way because I needed to surpass you. I have destroyed Orochimaru with ease and I can destroy you."

"Hn," Itachi said. "Orochimaru was always weakened by his desire for what he could not achieve. But this talk is growing dull," he said, sliding several shuriken between his fingers. "Let me truly see if you have grown strong."

_To be continued…_

_

* * *

_

**Sorry it took longer than I expected to get this chapter out. Part of it was that I got really busy this week and partly I needed to get some information correct for this chapter. (I think I got the suffix Sai uses for Kakashi right, but I'm not sure, so if I'm wrong please correct me. I believe it's supposed to mean something along the lines of "leader".) Anyway, it also may take me longer to get next chapter up because I'm taking a small break and working on a oneshot, but I'll try to be as quick as possible while still maintaining the quality. Hope you enjoyed the chapter and please review.**


	10. Spectacle

**Hey, Everyone. I'd like to take a moment to say a few things. First of all, this chapter has taken the longest it's ever taken me to write. I'd like to thank everyone who continued to support me while I struggled with this. I'd like to dedicate this chapter to two people who helped me with ideas. First, to my good friend Kyle. Thank you for letting me borrow a theory of yours. You're a friend, a gnome, and a hell of a lot of other things. Second, to****Misha Mitaku. You also contributed an idea and I thank you for that. I think it made this chapter much better and a lot easier to write even though it was still difficult. So enough of the sentimentalities. Enjoy the chapter. **

_**Chapter 10:**_ Spectacle

"You are wrong, Itachi. I did not do things your way because I needed to surpass you. I have destroyed Orochimaru with ease and I can destroy you."

"Hn," Itachi said. "Orochimaru was always weakened by his desire for what he could not achieve. But this talk is growing dull," he said, sliding several shuriken between his fingers. "Let me truly see if you have grown strong."

A grim smile spread across Sasuke's face that chilled Sakura's bones far more than the rain had. She remained as close to the door as possible watching much like Tetsume, the Akatsuki recruiter, did from the opposite side of the room. Sasuke removed a long katana from its sheath at his side and held it with practiced elegance before him.

"Very showy," Itachi said. "Do you know how to use that thing, little brother?"

"I am not the same ignorant little boy anymore!" Sasuke shouted. Itachi was getting under his skin like all siblings do and these thoughts tormented Sasuke even further.

"Then come at me," Itachi demanded. "Strike me down and punish me for what I have done! Or are you still afraid?"

"Never!" Sasuke gave in to the pressure and ran towards Itachi, strengthening his sword with chidori. Itachi loosed the shuriken that had grown warm from resting between his fingers. The tiny blades were knocked aside as Sasuke plunged closer and drove the tip of the sword through Itachi's abdomen.

Itachi's laugh echoed through the chamber as his form grew distorted and dissipated into a flock of ravens. He reassembled behind his brother and drove his fist into the younger boy's gut. Sasuke went sprawling backwards.

"You cannot overcome my mangekyou," Itachi said. "It's the ultimate ability. You have seen its effects, haven't you, Sasuke?"

"You will die!" Sasuke shouted angrily. His voice stung like salt in fresh wounds. A cloud of shuriken hissed through the air, each intending to meet its mark and tear brutally into Itachi's flesh. 

But Itachi was a swift opponent. His kunai struck each shuriken and flung them to the ground. "You're going to have to try harder than that," Itachi said calmly. "I'm no Orochimaru."

"Shut up, you bastard!"

"Name calling? Really, Sasuke, didn't mother raise you better than that?"

Sasuke was quickly becoming frustrated and flung himself towards Itachi. Sakura had become so transfixed by the fight that she had not noticed Tetsume until the Akatsuki subordinate was next to her. "So, the make species is pretty impressive, huh?"

Sakura tense but saw Tetsume had no interest in fighting. "Perhaps just the Uchiha males," she said dryly. 

"Nah, they're all idiots." Sakura had no argument there. "So is Sasuke your boyfriend or something, Pinky?"

Sakura blushed. "No, he… uh… kidnapped me."

"Interesting," Tetsume said. "Oh, that had to hurt." Sasuke had managed to get a hit on Itachi and the older brother was sent flying into the wall where he left a sizeable dent. 

Sakura sighed. "This really is ridiculous."

"Tell me about it. It's better than the movies. Wait, I think one of the idiots is going to start ranting soon."

Tetsume was right. Sasuke had managed to skewer Itachi once more and glared at his older brother with a smoldering hatred that would send shivers up and down an ordinary person's spine. "I have a question for you."

Itachi smiled at him condescendingly. "Go ahead, little one. Ask away."

Sasuke grit his teeth as Itachi escaped his blade in a swarm of birds once more. "Who helped you kill them? I know now that you couldn't have done it on your own."

"I'm impressed," Itachi said, chuckling sinisterly as he appeared next to Sasuke again. Blood trickled calmly down from his lip. "It was Uchiha Madara."

"Don't play games with me! Madara has been dead for a long time!"

Itachi continued to smile. "You would think that, wouldn't you? After all, he was one of Konoha's founding fathers. But I supposed you have earned the truth from me. Uchiha Madara is very much alive. Madara had a brother, a younger brother, much like you, Sasuke. They were exemplary shinobi and the pride of the Uchiha clan. 

"Both of them were the first to acquire the mangekyou sharingan by slaying their closest friend. They rose to prominence in the clan, Madara as leader, and forged an alliance with the forest shinobi to create Konoha.

"For a time, they prospered, until darkness fell on Madara. The more frequently the mangekyou is used, the swifter the shinobi begins to lose all sight. One day, Madara discovered the solution. He forcefully removed the eyes from his brother's head and replaced his own with them. Since then, he has seen perfectly.

"Many years later, he was driven away from Konoha by the First Hokage to wander through the world. Even more years passed until Madara came t me and told me of the mangekyou and the ultimate power. 

"By, Sasuke, darkness is coming fro me. This can only be done between Uchiha brothers. I told you, you were my spare. I must have your eyes!"

Sasuke stared at his sociopathic older brother for a moment or two, unable to let a single sound escape him lips. "Um… no…"

Sakura put a hand to her temple in a pained way. "Shit, this is getting out of hand."

"Ah, but they'd kill us if we got in the way," Tetsume said wisely. "Stupid Uchiha men. They'll beat the shit out of each other and leave us to clean up the mess afterwards."

"Typical," Sakura muttered in agreement. She plopped down resignedly on the dusty floor and was soon joined by Tetsume. 

"Our asses are gonna get covered in dust," Tetsume said, watching the latest volley of sharp objects between Sasuke and Itachi.

"Probably." Sakura was absorbed in the flickering fire that spewed forth from Sasuke. "I definitely hate those two."

"Believe me; I'm working on revenge already. Want in?"

"Absolutely."

They shrieked in unison as a stray kunai flew dangerously close. Still in unison they shouted, "Hey, watch it!"

The Uchiha men muttered vague and distracted apologies and continued to attempt fratricide. 

"Well, they ought to be out of chakra soon," Tetsume said. "I don't think Itachi-san can keep this up much longer." She seemed rather unconcerned as she picked at an itchy place behind her right ear.

Sakura felt, for reasons that she could not fully explain, that Tetsume was not being entirely candid about her feelings. Perhaps it was the way Tetsume's eyes never left Itachi during their entire conversation. "I wouldn't know about Sasuke's limits, but he looks tired."

Itachi had his share of injuries. A thin line of blood dribbled down from his lip and his usually clear skin was marred with dirt and dust that had been spun up into the air during the melee. 

"Yeah, this is just about over," Tetsume continued. "Itachi-san isn't using any big jutsu anymore." Her words seemed to hang in the air like the dust. Sakura felt her heart clench. Something big was coming. It wasn't a joke anymore. She wanted to get up and stand between the two panting Uchiha men, but she had given her word. Damn words!

"Are you okay, Pinky?"

"Are you?"

"No… no, I'm not. Stupid men."

Lightning crackled through the sky and rain continued to streak down through the trees on Team Kakashi. Hinata looked up at the blackened clouds and shivered. "Something bad is happening," she whispered.

Somehow Naruto heard her whisper, or perhaps she had spoken louder than she thought. His warm hand touched her shoulder. "That's why we're on your way."

Naruto wasn't smiling. His eyes were set with determination and his squared jaw was wrought with tension. "This is ending today. That's a promise."

"Hurry up, back there," Kakashi shouted back at them. "We're almost there."

There were a tired and bleeding pair of brothers, but they couldn't stop. Their reactions had slowed considerably. They were almost sloppy… almost, if it weren't for their name: Uchiha.

Foul insults flew from Sasuke's mouth. His hate spilled over in an uncontrollable torrent. Itachi responded coolly. No emotion showed on his face. If Tetsume weren't staring so fixedly at him, she might have complained about how cliché the whole affair was. 

The Uchiha brothers grappled, trying to break the other's grip. Sasuke tried to twist a kunai from Itachi's painted fingers. "Damn bastard," Sasuke seethed through gritted teeth. "Die."

Itachi's grip slipped and Sasuke struck him in the side with chidori. They tumbled to the ground. But the oldest Uchiha was at the height of his glory. As they struggled apart, Itachi held a glistening pair of eyes in his right hand and gripped his wound with his left.

Sasuke's screams were awful. His pain was extreme. Vermillion blood ran from his eyes like tears. Sakura ran forward to him oblivious to Itachi who was coming to his feet with the help of Tetsume. 

"Sasuke, move your hands." He resisted. "Move your goddamn hands, you stupid asshole!" she shouted and forcefully made him comply. 

Tetsume wrapped Itachi's arm around her shoulder and fled. Sakura didn't notice. She was focused on Sasuke's empty eyes. _Well, now they're empty in a different way_, she thought. Her healing jutsu spread into him and stopped the blood from flowing freely. "I can't do anything for the pain," she said, no longer shouting. "I want you to come back to Konoha."

Sasuke gripped her arm with a bloody hand. "No! No, I have to kill him! Is he dead?"

"He got away, but he was bleeding a lot. He'll die if he doesn't get medical help soon," she said truthfully. "At this point, you are in no position to ignore my advice."

"The team—" he began.

"Is held up by Kisame. They don't know what happened here. Besides, reinforcements will be here soon."

"I mixed up our trail," Sasuke said.

"I left another. They're tracking my blood."

"You—" But Sasuke had stopped arguing. He had gone unconscious.

The rain had let up considerably and was only a light drizzle. Yet it was still damp enough to seep into an ignorant person's bones and imbue him with misery. Pools of water that quaked with tiny droplets had formed in the small road that brought Team Kakashi out of the forest to the Uchiha Hideout. 

"Is that it?" Sai asked, speaking for the first time in hours.

Kakashi nodded. "It feels like whatever happened here was over though. Tread carefully."

"What's that?" Naruto said, pointing to a shadowy lump emerging from the building in the distance.

"Byakugan!" Hinata zoomed in on the formidable structure. She saw Sakura struggling to carry and unconscious person. "It's them!" she shouted. "Sakura and Sasuke!"

Naruto and Sai took off at a run. It was hard to say who was more eager to get there.

"Wait!" Hinata shouted after them to little avail. "Sasuke's hurt!"

Kakashi looked at her in alarm. "Quickly," he said tersely and joined Naruto and Sai in their sprint to Sakura and Sasuke. Hinata hastened to follow.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto shouted.

She looked up to see two blurs—one orange, one black—barreling toward her. In an instant, they were at her side. "Naruto?"

"What happened?" he asked, staring in horror at his two bloody teammates.

Sakura lifted Sasuke off of her shoulder and onto Naruto's broader one. "He fought Itachi," she said tiredly. 

"Is he—" Naruto began.

"Sasuke's not dead, but Itachi took his eyes."

Naruto gaped and noticed the snow white bandages wrapped around Sasuke's eyes for the first time. "Did he at least kill that bastard?" Naruto asked, a fire lighting behind his own eyes.

"Itachi was hurt badly, but unless he's denied medical attention, he'll live."

Kakashi and Hinata arrived now. "Are you okay, Sakura?"

"I'll live, but we should get back to Konoha soon."

"Sakura…"

She looked around and saw Sai who had been so silent as she had explained what happened. She smiled at him. "I missed you," she replied quietly. 

Life seemed to go in slow motion as Sai moved closer. He was soaking wet from the rain, but she didn't care as he wrapped his arms around her. He moved so slow it took Sakura a moment to realize his lips were on hers and his fingers in her short hair. And she discovered with a small amount of shock that the last time he had kissed her was the first time he kissed her.

"I have this strange feeling," he said somberly. "I think I must be happy that you are okay."

Sakura started to laugh and Sai's eyes widened slightly. "And now I must be worried again," he said.

"I'm okay," she said, pausing in her laughter. "I'm _really_ okay."

"Hey!" Kakashi shouted back at them. "We're leaving now!"

* * *

**So, hello again. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I'm kind of worried it's a bit choppy now since I wrote over a very long period of time. So if it is, please forgive me. Please stick around for the final conclusion next chapter. I sort of have it finished, but I'm waiting because it's short and I don't know if I want to add anything else. By the way, I'm thinking of changing the title since it doesn't really seem to fit anymore. Anyway, next update should be somewhat rapid. Please review and thanks to all of you who reviewed and stuck with this story so far. The response to last chapter really meant a lot to me as I was struggling with this one. You people are awesome. **


	11. When All is Said and Done

_**Chapter 11: **_When All is Said and Done

* * *

As the medic-nin left, Itachi found Tetsume staring down at him fiercely. He raised a thin eyebrow. "What?" he asked calmly. His eyes might have been replaced with Sasuke's, but they still held the same nonchalant arrogance.

"If you do that again, I'll kill you," she said humorlessly.

Itachi sat up in his bed and Tetsume studied a patch of wall as the blanket fell away from his bare chest. "There are several things wrong with that statement."

She looked at him crossly. "Well, I'm sure you'll enlighten me as to their nature."

"First, being that I now possess my brother's eyes, I will never _have_ to do that again. Second, I highly doubt you are capable of killing me."

Tetsume just smiled at him sardonically. "Hopefully I'll never have to test that, Itachi-san you crazy bastard."

"Crazy bastard?" he echoed. "Now that's a little cold."

"And you deserve it for—" She broke off abruptly and walked over to the bedroom window to look out on an ordinary little street.

"For what, Tetsume?" Itachi asked.

"Nothing," she said quickly. "Get some rest." She started for the door.

"Tetsume, if you do not finish your sentence, I will be forced to get up and make you. Do you really want to do that to a man in my condition?"

She muttered a few curses and turned around again. "I was going to say you deserve if for worrying me like that." A light blush crept into her cheeks.

"Come here," he said quietly.

"Itachi-san, I—"

"Come here," he repeated. Tetsume obliged and came to stand next to his bedside. He looked at her seriously. "Do you love me, Tetsume?"

Her blush deepened. "I, uh, Itachi-san—"

"It's a simple question."

"With a damned complicated answer," she said before she could stop herself. "I… you're my father's friend."

"I am a great deal younger than Kisame. And he fathered you in his youth anyway."

"And you're an Akatsuki _member_ and… and… my teacher," she said desperately.

"For such an intelligent girl, you seem unable to answer this one question," Itachi said with a touch of amusement."

Tetsume grew furious. "You're an asshole, you know."

"Come closer," he said.

"No," she said, starting to edge away from the bed, but Itachi had somehow managed to get a hold of her wrist and pulled her very close. Tetsume could smell the scent of him. It was light and natural. She gasped as he put a hand around the back of her head and pulled her face close to his.

Itachi's lips moved slowly over her own. Tetsume closed her eyes and when she opened them again found that she'd made it on to the bed with him and his arms were wrapped forcefully around her waist. "Eh, watch my side," he whispered in her ear.

"Sorry, but you deserved it, ass."

**

* * *

**

A large number of people were crowded into a hospital room that was rather small by Konoha's usual standards. "Well?" Sakura said from the back of the group. Sai stood next to her with an arm wrapped casually around her.

"You did well, Sakura," Tsunade said, looking up from the patient. "He'll be fine in a day or two."

"I won't be fine," Sasuke said. "Itachi took my eyes."

"That's your fault," Tsunade said crossly, looking down at the last Uchiha with distaste. "You refuse to allow others to help you. You think you must be alone because all your blood relations are dead. You may be blind, but you know perfectly well how many people are in this room." Tsunade took a deep calming breath.

"Kakashi, Naruto, I want the both of you to keep watch on him," Tsunade said. She departed shaking her head and rubbing her temples. "Damn, I need some sake."

"Wait! Tsunade-sama!" Shizune shouted and took off after her.

"I think we should go too," Sakura said softly to Sai. He nodded and they left the room quietly.

Kakashi wandered over to a chair in the corner and, without a word, pulled out a book and began to read, leaving Naruto to stand and stare at the bandages wrapped around Sasuke's head, hiding the ugly truth.

"What are you going to do now, Sasuke?" Naruto asked him.

"I don't have to tell you my plans," Sasuke replied. In the old days, this might have infuriated Naruto, but he had grown a good deal wiser about things.

"You don't have any plans, do you?" Sasuke didn't respond. "I don't care what you say; you're still a brother to me."

"I don't want a brother. I want revenge."

"Life doesn't work like that," Kakashi interrupted, looking up from his book in a rare moment. "You take what you get. You've got a brother. Deal with it."

They remained in silence for a few minutes until Naruto spoke. "I've got to go. I promised Hinata we'd go for ramen when we got back. You'll be alright, Kakashi-sensei?" The jounin gave a little wave. "I'll be back later."

"So he finally figured out Hinata loves him?" Sasuke asked.

"Of course not," Kakashi said.

"Same old dobe."

"Pretty much, but that's sort of why we like him."

Sasuke was feeling oddly chatty. "Sort of," he agreed.

* * *

_And so it happened on that day that though Uchiha Sasuke failed to kill his brother and lost his eyes to the fearsome Itachi, he also returned to the place where he was meant to be all along. In subsequent years, he regained strength as he moved away from the village to live in solitude (occasionally interrupted solitude). _

_Many forget however that the center of this tale was never Uchiha Sasuke. No, as in all great stories, the very foundation is laid out with a strong woman. Haruno Sakura. Her choices and actions on that fateful day turned the tides of fate. She could have had anything she wanted. Sakura could have had the last Uchiha and gone with him willingly. But she did not. _

_Her heart belonged to another man, a man of a thousand insults. She endured his insults and stupidity for one thing: his smile. For Sakura was one of the blessed few who had ever known a true smiled from Sai._

_And though the tale of Sakura and Sai's love and the obstacles it overcame was intended to be the grand design of this tale, as it often happens, other stories weave their way in and thus cannot be ignored._

_Perhaps the only stranger set of lovers was Uchiha Itachi and Hoshigaki Tetsume. It was perhaps the only testimony to their humanity that love could grow between two such ill-fated individuals. And it can be said also that the forces of love take pity indiscriminately for the two died together as Konoha finally avenged the Uchiha massacre and eliminated the looming threat of Akatsuki._

_This story, however, does not presume to give a history lesson for these facts may be found in any textbook. It ends only with this message that love is found in the most unlikely of places and that stories such as these are never truly over. People grow old and die only to be born to love again. Enemies will always rise, but faith and love are powers that will always prevail._

**

* * *

**

"So… what do you think?"

"PERVERT! That's not how it happened!"

"What do you mean?" Jiraiya asked a rather angry Haruno Sakura whom he now feared just as much as Tsunade.

A vein pulsated in Sakura's forehead. "Sai did NOT ask you for advice!"

"Pff, details. He might as well have. And you have to admit the rest is entirely accurate," he continued.

"I'm burning the first chapter!"

"No! My precious!"

* * *

_**Fin**_

* * *

**A big thank you to everyone who has supported me throughout this story. I really couldn't have done it without you. Your reviews and suggestions have been invaluable and writing this story has been and interesting experience (especially since it was originally intended to be a oneshot). I hope this story was enjoyable and encourages you to read my other pieces and well as some of my cowritten work under the penname "Tragedy of Madness." One more sappy thank you, and please review if you can. Madness**


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